''LONELY''gaL*

02/06/09,tuesday

2009-06-02T21:34:00.002+08:00

It's been along long time since i've laid my hands on the computer...

things happened and solved....feelings came and faded....

we've indeed went through alot and grown up alot....

physically and mentally...

but..

i've always wish not to grow up anymore...

i mean the age...

let us all be stuck in this time machine...

staying like this..because i couldn't bear to part...nor give up

anything which i have currently...

however.....i knew it's impossible.....

chatted with a friend in BK today after school

and we talked alot...honestly speaking,i'm envious of her...

but i knew i couldn't be like her......:)

took chinese 'O' levels yesterday and do not have the least confident of

getting an A1....i'm useless....but still,i want to thank my dear teacher

for striving hard with us and worrying for us...just wanted to say that

we actually love you alot...:)...

boyfriend suffered a great loss today....shocked.....but i supposed

it's okay now...:)boyfriend,i love you!!!!:)...

e cube cube will end this friday:)endure.....work hard,everybody:D.....

20/03/09,friday

2009-03-20T20:39:00.002+08:00

Two more days to school re-open!!!!!
should i say that i'm excited?..people will definitely tell me that i'm crazy to have the thought...
haha...
lots of homework!!!!i don't think that i can actually complete it by sunday...
especially english assignments..
ahh...

anyway,welcome back,people from taiwan and korea:)
gu lei,ah bin,dayima,liyanna,syuhada,haziela,ain....
jia hao,xiu hui and theng!!!
welcome:)welcome:)

have not been blogging for days...
or should i say for months???
gu lei told me that everyone who went to taiwan conquered the mountain..
but...the country that i regretted not going is KOREA!!!!
i heard that they saw snow in jeju...
ahhhh!!!!!REGRETTTT!!!!!
hmmm...it's too late now..isn't it...
but...
it was also too expensive...
if i've decided to go...then..
i'll have to give about......1000+++ CASH....
hmmmm...it's over now...
guess it was very fun there...
forget it...
lots of things happened...
where shall i start from?...
hmmm....i'll just write it down briefly..
i slacked...
i slept...
i get tired easily...
it's very brief...right?..heh..
but..i've decided to go overseas at year end:)heh...
have to plan for it.....
felt guilty the moment i see that person.....
why should i?....i often ponder upon......
i did nothing wrong...did i?
fear....nervous..tense.....tired......my life is filled with all these nowadays....
hmmm....i guess i'll do as what i'm told to do.....i'll be more relax...
but my problem will never be solve....

anyway,will be going to the competition on this sunday......as spectator...
can i not go?time is really limited...homework.....
haiz....
but still,still hope for school to re-open soon....:D.....
next friday will be speech day already...
and there will be training for colours and rehearsal for prize winners next tuesday...
after which,have to rush off for english tuition.....
i'm a busy bee...haha....but also excited..really look forward to this day....:)
cannot continue to go for the sessions already......three times a week...i heard...
but..it's almost impossible.....school releases so late everyday.....it's not possible..
never mind..perhaps i should go on saturday and sunday..maybe also friday night..:)....
okay:)shall end off here:)

am i....am i thinking of you nowadays?....
i'm not supposed to......right?...
you gave me a feeling that you are irritated.......
i shall end this off as fast as possible....i promise....

07/03/09,saturday

2009-03-07T20:55:00.003+08:00

06/03/09:

Went to school as usual but with tons of things....
reached at the same time too....
no morning assembly and went up to the class with luann...
we were informed that Mr Tan Yee Kan wanted to talk to us after lessons..
he reached our classroom at a later time..about 1pm..i think...
he said that he was delayed by two matters...
1)a boy in sec 3 had an asthma attack...
2)the school caught students smoking in school...
...
our principal was humorous.....it was then that i knew it..
we asked about his salaries...his 'O' levels results.....
issues about fertilisers,english banding..mosquitoes.....
i can say that..he was a successful person..as well as being our principal...
i'm starting to take him as an example.....i suppose...
after clarifying our doubts and concerns,he left..it was about 2pm then....
had a sudden emotion change and cried suddenly in front of them...
hid at the back door of our classroom and continued...
didn't stop until a while later.....
i'm actually glad that my friends saw me when i'm about to cry..
i'm thankful for their presence.....
i thought i couldn't take it anymore....
it's so difficult to breathe..it's much more difficult now...
feels like something really heavy is pressing me..to be specific..my heart....
a really heavy burden....
is this called stress?
going home is really hard...
forcing myself to go home everyday?..
it's weird..isn't it?....
after which,went for CCA and zh went home...
the colours training were really fun and enjoying...
i did not regret going to CCA despite being alone...
we marched around the parade square with our flag poles....
and slacked alot...
3 short trainings and 10mins water break...and we continued to slack...
after CCA,met BF and emelia at the school gate...
and we went off to the mrt station to meet yang and jonathan...
proceeded on to AMK hub....
queued for about more than half hour?
and went in for dinner at about 8.30pm..
ordered curry rice for myself....yang one set,jonathan one set and the two one big set..
and one more sushi set...
no appetite as i'm too tired to eat....
but they were funny...played 'zhong ji mi ma'...because there was a few sushi left
and nobody wanted to eat it....
it was so funny while we played...
jonathan had to eat one,emelia,two and me,one.....
yang was lucky that he did not get the number that BF typed in...
left at about 10pm....yang helped me took my things.....jonathan too:D..
such gentlemen......haha.....i'm glad that they are my classmates...
:)
i'm touch....heh..
decided to take bus service 169 home with rest..it's a straight bus for me....
emelia too....:)...
BF ended up alighting the bus with emelia...
yang and johnathan alighted at yishun mrt station...
after BF and emelia left,we had lots of fun together.....i took photos of them...
they were funny...
posing all kinds of stupid poses....
and we laughed so loud that those people in the bus turned and looked at us....
finally,they alighted and i was alone again....
reched home at 11pm.....bathed and slept.......

thank you,my friends for being with me.....thanks....

why?it's so difficult facing you.....moreover,i have to face you almost everyday..
i think that its the same for you..isn't it?......
why did it have to become like this?....i wondered.....

29/02/09,saturday

2009-02-28T21:16:00.002+08:00

Woke up at 7.30am today...
as i was told on friday that we will have flag barrier training today...
reach school at 9am but did not see the other flag barriers...
my first thought was...
was the training cancelled?...second was ..
are they late for training?
therefore,i waited..and i waited for about 15mins..
after which,an NPCC boy walked to me and asked me why i'm in school..
i replied him honestly and he told me that the training was cancelled..
and they cancelled it yesterday...
i was so angry..they did not even inform me about it..
wasted my time and bus fare...
irresponsible...
they should have at least inform jasena and ask her to inform me about it...
right?
went straight home after that...
on the way back,complained to girlfriend and she called...
she said that she acually intended to ask me to join her and sweetheart for
lunch...
therefore,i told her that i could actually meet her out after my bath...
left home at 10.30am after bathing...
reached northpoint at 11am...
i felt sorry to girlfriend and sweetheart....they waited for me for half an hour?
think so...
sorry...
went foodcourt to have lunch...
saw dinesh,matthew,daryl and zenson...
didn't speak much and they left shortly after..
after lunch,went to HS.....sweetheart and girlfriend said that they will join me
in few hours time...
therefore,walked there and it was so noisy with kids running around like wet market...
however,i tried my best to concentrate and succeeded in it..
i managed to complete my geography assignment...one load off my shoulder:)
whee:D...
the two joined me at about 11.40pm...
played and chatted...left there at about 4pm...
took bus 969 to causeway and sopped around....
sweetheart went to look for workbook but couldn't find it...
went to have dinner together at foodcourt...
sense of nausea struck me after eating the food..
felt like vomitting but felt better after drinking my chinese tea...
afterwhich,went to UNCLETIBITS to walk around....girlfriend brought her
childhood tibits..haha...
i,too,looked for mine but i couldn't find the burger....
it's been on the extinct list..heh...
proceeded on to comics connection...brought hearts...
there's light if you press on it...it's beautiful..
but my heartbeat...there's something wrong with it....doesn't seems to beat..
but it's strange...because when sweetheart pressed,it started beating...heh..
is this call 'fate'?....heh...
went our seperate ways afterwhich......

Many things had happened...
i'm disappointed in myself..
my emotions are out of control nowadays...
girlfriend2 said that she will help me....i felt so thankful...
thnaks for everything...your concern....the sense of secure that you gave me...
thanks!!!loves!!!...
however,the disapproving expressions from teachers let me feel that
i've done something really wrong...
things that made them felt disappointed...
i'm depress,,,,,
by everything....
and i've also done wrong..by venting my anger on my friends...
i'm sorry,everyone.....especially sweetheart and gabriel....
didn't mean it..really...please..don't take it to heart....

days past...
feelings fade...
it's the normal 'procedure'..
isn't it?
then..
am i abnormal?.......

21/02/09,saturday

2009-02-21T16:38:00.009+08:00

I'M SORRY TIAN TIAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!>_<

I promised to express my apologise in my blog:)remember?....

Went to school at 9am for training today:D...

reached school but raden have not reach...

therefore,we waited..finally,he reached and we went to

meet the others...

started training and it WAs FUN!!!!!!

made friend with the girl guides...the girl's

name is justina....

also,the NCC,BB AND NPCC....they are quite nice lar:)...

and we were told that we must wear the NUMBER.1 uniform!!!!!

i am super EXCITED upon hearing that...

the same goes for jasena and raden.....

it will be our last parade....and we will be able

to wear the number 1 uniform...

i can live without regrets in life:)haas...

i'm too exaggerated....i think...

hehs...

yeah..

flag barrier again...(don't know if i spelled it correctly anot..)

heard that speech day and school opening ceremony

are on the same day....

geezzss..

was informed by ms soh that we can go on stage to

receive certificate and volchers

on speech day:)

means that i'll have to rush..

after the parade,i will have to rush to change back to school uniform again..

so excited lars:D....loves:)

many things had also happened this week:)..

today also went to walk around at northpoint and causeway with

tian tian,GF and SH:)loves:)ahhhhh!!!heh...

too enthusiastic today..the three of them called me crazy

haha.....walk around till about three something

and "dismissed"..heh...

bathed and here i am:)..

shall end off here now:)....

don't treat me too good:((...i'm really afraid to

fall in love again..

please..

be cruel to me and end my pain at this moment..

you gave me hope but i knew that it's impossible..

i've been avoiding..

but...

wherever i go,i will see you...

i......

don't....

like......

the feelings...

i feel pain seeing you..

please....:(

15/02/09,sunday

2009-02-15T11:10:00.002+08:00

Tears roll unnoticeably down my cheeks nowadays...
Crying like a maniac for no reason...
I'm tired...
Probably tired of living...
Sometimes,i would be wondering if it's better to be the adopted one...
It would be better for me...
I guess......
It would probably be a better way to free me from
the surface of the stress i'm under now...
It's very fortunate to be able to breathe freely..........
I realised.............

15/02/09,sunday

2009-02-15T08:48:00.002+08:00

was so happy when talking or with GF and SH....

they really made my day....:D..

loves:)

saw them on 169 bus-stop on friday after cca....

was so happy...

we chatted and laughed...

after which,went home as i have an "appointment"..

haa...

stayed home on Valentine's day yesterday....

haa..

i wasn't lonely at all..lol..

the company of family already satisfied me....

....

hmmm..

nothing much to elaborate on....

SH:thanks for enlightening my day..always when i feel blue..

i really really appreciated your presence..

and..i wanted to let you know about it:)

thanks for being with me:D...

GF:i also wanted to tell you the same thing too:)

thanks..thanks..thanks.....:)..

loves..:)

i've just realised something that i was not supposed to know..

i should not have read that..

it was indeed very shocking very me...

but...the treatment would still

be the same as before....

i promised....and..

I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...

I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!...

31/01/09,saturday

2009-01-31T21:22:00.002+08:00

Had not been updating the blog.....

sudden urge of scribbling something on it....

stress is unavoidable nowadays....

hate the feelings....

but could not escape...

trap in the deep hole...

don't know how to get out.....

however,i wouldn't call for help......

even if it takes alot of time...

does it matters?..

does it matters if i'm able to get out of it?

it's just too.....difficult.....

many things had happened......

cried so many times since the start of this

year....

i'm....useless?....

came across this sentence.......

"to achieve glory,overcome the pain first"

it truly makes sense....

everything comes with pain...isn't it?...

sitting in the bus,i began to think over again...

the stare that you had given me...

the expression...

the coldness....

this is the ending that you gave me...

it represents a 'full stop' to our friendship...

isn't it...

you made my thoughts change...

i wouldn't dare to get near you anymore...

perphaps.....never again....

why is it that i dare not look

into your eyes anymore?...

it's just too strange...

why is it that you do the same thing?

it makes me feel like you do feel the same as me ...

i knew that it's just an imagination..

i'm thinking too much..

but...

i HAD already given up...haven't i?

23/01/09,friday

2009-01-23T23:58:00.002+08:00

Had been busy for the whole week.....

depressing...and for the term test.....it was the most tiring

week of my life.....

making me felt so tired.....

lack of sleep......almost everyday...

cried....for so many days....with and without

friends around....

i'm so useless and ashamed of myself..

actually,i thought that i could at least endure till today...the

last paper of this week.....but i can't...:((...nvm...

woke up early and went to school as normal....

was so afraid of the math paper today....

after mrning assembly,went back class to have our lessons....

after lessons,lunch and at 1.45pm,went for

CCA....

which only took us a while....

2.15pm,went backt o the classroom and continue with

exam....

lost 32 marks......

i'm going to be dead for the paper....

physics too....

my weakest part for physics is the electricity...

and teachers gave questions on that chapter....

shit...

hmmm...humans was average.....

after exam,spoke to soemone about something....

things are always so complicated with people's feelings

being hidden deep in their heart....

it's COMPLICATED!!!!

next,went for CCA....

we were isolated.......by the teachers,madams and

juniors...

all alone...nobody bothers about what we were dong...

sonce it's like this,why force us to go to CCA?

i'm confused about it....

we can spend the time for a better use,right?

i doubt that our presence make a big difference....

i dislike going to cca nowadays....

it's so boring....

without our platoon around....

next,walked with hao to chong pang....

we went to buy bubble tea and proceeded on...

chatting all the way there....

walked around and it was like so crowded....

it was so troublesome bringing our bags along....

bought three jeans and i was satisfied with it:)

or rather should i say extremely satisfied with it:D....

it was a relief that it was friday today....

first,i got to go out with my friend which made me

feel less tense....

second,it had been so long since we've

gone out together.....

had our dinner and ate 'hor fun'....

quite nice..

but i was about to vomitafter eating....

think it's because i did not eat because i'm hungry...

but for the sake of eating....

because i'm not hungry at all..

haha....

went home after that......

must it be that people will treasure one another after losing them?

i'm confused...

if yes,why don't you treat them better when they are alive?

i wouldn't be able to take it if someone were to leave me....

someone close....

don't be a coward....admit if you think you like that person...

your cowardness made people suffer.....

don't hide your feelings in your heart...people wouldn't be able

to guess what your thinking are.....

don't make yourself regret in the end....

09/01/09,friday

2009-01-09T20:23:00.005+08:00

chrina's "siansation"..haha...

chirna's stupid face..haa..

hao and geok theng extra behind...:)

buddy and me:D....

my new pencil box..

present from gu lei :)

mrs samuel-emo-ing

bro's hp toy:)

What do i mean to you exactly?

someone whom you can neglect if you choose to?

or....

someone whom you can sacrifice if danger approach us?

i hate you....

it's not just because i'm angry that i said this..

i've always hated you......

but please remember....

i would sacrifice myself to exchange your life....

Reached school quite early today....

therefore,i went to the place near the field and

thought through many things...

however,when i thought of what i'm thinking at the parade square

,my mind was in a blank....

things happened as usual in the morning...

(shu fang was late today.....)...

went to classroom

and have our english lesson at 5N1...

mrs ong suddenly want us to write a compo....

GL and i tried to write a compo

with "show and"tell" sentences...

we ended up being the last one and moreover,

we were not able to complete our compos on time....

at first,mrs ong asked us to put it in her

pigeon hole by today..

but..i found one excuse...

i told her that we'll be having our physics test on 1pm..

and...

after which,we will be going to the polytechnic...

at 2.30pm....

she hesitated for a moment..

and told us to pass it up to her on monday....

i'm so grateful upon hearing this:)...

loves....mrs ong...heh.....

after that,went for our recess and went for

E maths...then POA lesson....

mrs samuel said that she wanted to rearrange our

seating arrangements....

immediately,i asked her about my seating partner..

but..

she refused to tell me....

next,i went to talk to her when she walked out and

she askd me to take her laptop or her..

it was only then that she told me...

she told me that i will be seating with gu lei:)..

loves:)...

i asked her why..

and she told me that gu lei seems to be very quiet

in class...so she wants me(who is very noisy)to sit beside her...

:D....

she did not know that gu lei is my good friend:)..

after that,went to library with clique 1 to
library to use computer..

used till 2.20pm.....

went back class and prepare to go downstairs

to meet the rest...

reached NYP at about 3pm...

toured around.....

and left there at 5.30pm......

went to AMK hub with clique 1 and sf...

walked around......

bought something to eat and thought of

finding someone there.....

so,sms-ed...but that person did not go for work...

sad....why got your off day today?sobxx...
haa..anyway,went home at 6pm....

bathed and have dinner...

something happened then...

someone started quarrelling...then arguing...

haiz...don't actually feel like talking about it...

it ruins my mood.....

was feeling down when i'm at the shopping centre...

but thanks to sf:)

think is because of your optimistic and happy character..

that lighten my day up again....
thanks..loves:)...
i shall end off here.....

***my dear friend,please do not hide everything from us...

we can be your best listener....please understand....

we'll be there for you..especially me....

i told you...

"that's what friends are for"..

and i mean it.....:)

i love you,my friend...

thereofore,i do not wish to leave you alone...

alone in the darkness.....because i truly understand the feelings...:)***

3/01/2009,saturday

2009-01-03T13:04:00.002+08:00

31/12/2008:

It was the last day of 2008 and didn't spent time on

other things but just stayed at home to rush my homework.

thanks for the new year massages,my friends:D...

01/01/2009:

Went to ''celebrate'' new year with my family....

planned to go to catch a movie"IP man"...it was so nice:)

i rated 5/5...full marks:D........it was so exciting despite it being a martial arts movie........loves......almost the whole cinema was

occupied with people......:)...highly recommended......

02/01/09:

Went to school for the first day after almost 2 and 1/2 months

of holidays.......had been relaxing for

so long and it makes me feel so lazy nowadays.........

reached school at about 7.15am.....sat down and

foolowed by the speech of principal......next,went

back to class to check the assignments..

..luckily that i've already done every single assignments..except

for math..because i didn't managed to take it.

.......was scolded by mrs samuel for

this...she scolded me for being so irresponsible...

..hmmm.....emo-ed a bit......received our

timetable...luckily that we didn't have to copy it down......next,went

to recess on 10am..hao and i didn't eat anything

because we were not hungry.....went back to

class and we were like so crazy.

...playing all the way......after which,it's HUMANS lesson...

..ms chiang and ms chong came in.....we

were rewarded for scoring distinction for HUMANS........

and ms chiang said that she was so happy with

our results as there were 20 people

scoring distinctions........and she also promised us

that she will plan for us a wonderful fieldtrip.....

....also heard from jia hao that she may be leaving after fieldtrip......

.next,we were told that we will be seperated into

two classes....hmmm..i will be going to ms

chong's class.......it's not that sad but ms chiang

have been our humans teacher for 2 years.......hmmmm..nvm

..anyway,after humans,it's physics.....we were also

told that after mrs wong come back to school,

we will be seperated into three bands........enjoyed

abit of physics lessons and were released.....

.talked to xiuhui about her trip to australia....

.and thanks for the gift,xui hui:D....loves:)......thanks gu lei .for the

cookies too:))..........browsed through the photos

with dorothy and helped teachers with the cleaning

up of classroom stuffs.....oh ya..we have a

new co-form teacher:)ms zhang:)

she's a nice teacher:)........next,gf came to my classroom

to find me and we went off to northpoint to catch

the movie-ponyo on the cliff by the sea....

.....on the wayt o havelunch at LJS,saw

sf and she joined us.......the movie is so nice....so cute:D...i love ponyo.

.ponyo love susoke?..not very sure with the name..

haha.......ok lars...love gf too..or else later she

will say that i betray her..heh........went back to

school after that,took math paper from

melvin and after a second

thought,went to take math worksheet from mr teo..

.bacause i was afraid that i will be scolded by teachers on

monday......and mr teo said that he will scold

those who did not take from him...so,i sms-ed

ruitian to tell her that......but she did not reply:(.

.......hmmm..nvm.......returned home after that

because we do not have others places to go..

.....it was a fun day after all:D.........

i shall end off here:)

29/12/08,monday

2008-12-29T23:49:00.003+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO GEOK THENG!!!!!:D

27/12/08:

I've not been updating my blog for a few days....

went to bugis on last saturday with gf...

shopped for bag and found one

which i like....gf also found one..red and white sling

bag...at first,she saw one $59.90 bag...

she love it but it's too expensive..

so,she didn't buy it...

but no regrets because we found out that it's a bag for

laptop......

next,after shopping,went to causeway....

power 9 followed by library..

gossipped and chatted till about 6.30pm before leaving..

bought dinner home and ended my day like this...

28/12/08:

sunday,we went for our last day of work.....

everything seems so nice that day....

we found excuses...therefore,we can start work

at 7.30pm...we reached city hall at about

6.15pm...and found out that it's still early..

so,we sat down at the bench and chatted......

and plan for our plans next year....

so excited:D....

think i can go......hmmm.....not very sure...

because someone's worried about my safety:).....

waited..and waited...

finally,6.30pm arrived and we strolled to pan pac...

signed in...

and when we reported,Mjoseph told us that he

had no table for us to take care....

so,we joined in the 2nd batch cocktail..

and after which,we became the drink server....

i served the drinks and helped out for three tables...

gf took another table....guiding the newcomer....

being a senior is always at advantage..and so enjoying...

at least we wouldn't be like other baddies...

keep on bullying newcomer....

like the aunties there...kept on

scolding them.....dessert was served quite early...at about

10:55pm....normally,dessert can only be serve at about 11

something.....so,we were counted lucky...

but...the only thing was the lady susan............

it was like so heavy lar.....

and i almost drop the whole susan down the floor.....

luckily i didn't..or else i would be like the newcomer that gf

was guiding...dropped the cup?or plate? on the

floor and being scolded badly by the managers.......

cleared everything and helped around....till...

11:10pm?went to cafe for drink and change......

managed to catch the mrt and bus quite early...evrything

went so smoothly that day...loves....

open our pay slips on the bus...found out that i only have

salary for 2 days..i was shocked....but called elaine today..

and found out that the rest of our salary will only be issued

but next month...

29/12/08:

woke up at 10am and managed to catch the show....

while watching the show,i

suddenly remembered about the books...

the book list only listed that we could only buy our books today..

called hao and met at the gate at 12pm...

went home after buying of books....

did nothing much and now,going to sleep....

i shall end off here....

3 more days to re-opening of school...

26/12/08,friday

2008-12-26T20:04:00.003+08:00

25/12/08:
HAPPY BELATED MERRY CHRISTMAS
TO EVERYONE:D
Met out with girlfriend toh to be the santa claus for the day:)
went to buddy's house to give the present but her
mummy and daddy said that she's
still sleeping:)she's the pig for the day:D....
then went to exchange gifts with hao..she
gave me a box of sushi(made by her mummy and her)..
and also asked me to pass another box to GL...
next,proceed on to GL 's house...
when we press on the bell,hella ran,
barking at us continuously...
we hurried to pass her mum the presents and ran away
quickly....
when we were out,hella was still barking....
then..
we started our conversation...
me:"hey,the dog is still ****ing at you"
girlfriend:"what?what did u said?"
me:"opps...sorry said wrongly..."
girlfriend:"haha....you scolded the bad word"
haha..it's so funny lar....
next,hurried to meet them.....
then wanted to proceed on to northpoint for lunch...
but when we reached there,they said that it's very lame to come out
all the way and have lunch at northpoint...
then we followed them to the bus interchange...
they said that they wanted to go
tampines at first..but.....we missed the bus...
next,we went to the bus stop
which is opposite to the mrt.......
and waited for the bus...
halfway through,they suddenly said that they wanted
to change the place to changi airport....
then we took 858 there..had lunch at
popeye.....
chatted and moved on....
shu fang said that she wanted to go watch fei fei(aeroplane)
then we were like laughing till going to be crazy...
next,we went to wait for the skytrain...
i didn't take it before....so,
my first question for them was
"does we have to pay to take the train?"
then they started to laugh like crazy again...
i was like a bit angry....
me:"it's the first time i come to the hotel ma....(said wrongly)
then they laugh again....this time,they wouldn't stop....
then the train at the right side came...
i wanted to board....then they laughed again...
because i'm boarding the train at the wrong side....
i was like so embarassed....wanted
to dig a hole and bury myself in...
next,after *touring*,took bus 36
to orchard...by the time,i'm already very tired...
plus,i'm thinking of something which ruined my mood..
emo-ed in the bus.....
then reached orchard at about 7pm....
went to cineleisure.....
had lunch with the two of them at LJS
and chatted for very long......then,
watched bedtime stories with girlfriend because the rest of them
wanted to leave earlier...it was such a nice show....
it's so so so funny.....
catched the trainhome after that.....
girlfriend was being tortured by her feet....
which have blisters and her skin at the back was
torn....abit...
she said she finally understood what it feels like to be tortured like this..
haha..
i'm so glad...(kidding)reached home at around 11
something...
i'm sorry to hao bacause my handphone left no credit for me to
reply your massages.....shu fang too:(
and girlfriend said that she owed meone
christmas present...i'll remember it:)haha.....
hope that all those people whom i gave my presents to
will like it....:)
the trip to changi airport was also so fun:)

26/12/08:
Woke up and saw sis's note on the dining table..
she asked us to dress up properly
by 11.30am andshe intended to
bring us to shop for our stationary........
we do so and waited for her call....
mum followed us too:)
went to have lunch at foodcourt then
went to popular at northpoint......
i was lucky that i did not see any familiar faces there....
next,went for a little shopping trip..
i mean window shopping...
because there is really nothing much in northpoint....
left northpoint at 2 something.....reached home,
on television,watched,bathed....
and nothing much....

bro was like so good...
he bought frozen food for his picnic trip with friends today..
he have 2 packets of nuggets....
and he asked me if i want a packet of it...
cause he knew that i love nuggets:)
he also wanted to let me have the kfc chicken that he was going to eat
yesterday.....
he told me that since i love it so much,i can have it...
loves:D.....
he left us a packet of nugget today in the freezer:)

shall end off here for today:)

23/12/08,wednesday

2008-12-24T12:06:00.004+08:00

owner:hao

chrinana

Monday:went to school for the briefing...
didn't know that it would actually took us so long..
..orginally,thought that we were only
going to take the book list and leave like that..
...but...the teachers made us write down reflections
.....and targetted results for next year.
....after which,left school and bought waffle.
....accompanied hao to washroom to change
and she went off to meet her cousin....went home after that.....

Tuesday:met hao out for lunch at sakura.....
.she had been hoping to go there since a few
months ago....therefore,we decided to go.....it's only
then that i know that her appetite is much larger
than mine.....heh..after which,went to
dhogbygaut;plaza singapura....to walk around
and also find the flour for baking.....but..couldn't find it....
we also went up to the second floor to walk around...
..saw a shop that is meant for people to make their
own bear....we went in and saw
one tortise which looks like chrinana.....
our conversation;
me:"eh?tortise....."
hao:"wah!!looks like chrina..."
me:"ya lor.....if the pet is tortise then
what animal is the owner?"
hao:"don't know leh.."
me:***think think***"hare?"
hao:"hare?"
me:''tortise and hare ma...''**laughs**
maybe it doesn't sound funny to people..
but if you are there,you will laugh with us too:)
next,we proceeded on to daiso....
there are so many things there:D.......
and saw a miss call on my phone......
i called back....
me:"hello?someone called this number?"
un-knownperson:"ya..xin yi?"
me:(thought that person said sin yi).."ya....yes?"
un-known person:"you are xin yi right?"
(maybe my voice doesn't sound like it)
me:"ya....you are?"
un-known person:"mrs chin...."
me:"ms chin?(thought is ms chin-math teacher)"
mrs chin:"ya..i'm looking for chin xin yi..."
me:**laughs**"i'm lee sin yi,from 4N2"..
mrs chin:**laughs**"oh.. think i called the wrong person"
me:"never mind".....**laughs**...
why are there so many people whose name are call sinyi?or..
xin yi?
haha......she also asked why she have my number on her contact..
heh....did she taught me before?i don't remember...
next,when we were on our way down,we saw the store 1
aunty...she waved and smile to us...heh..
so friendly:D..
i couldn't find my flour there....so,we proceed to
northpoint.....saw many familiar faces....
almost all from sjab...and my dearest meiting:D.......
and also mr tan;vice principal..and his daughter....
went to popular....
and saw this tortise again..then we thought of
tortise chrinana again...
everywhere....heh...
left northpoint after buying the flour.....
and home sweet home....
started baking at night..till 12 something..but have not completed
till now....
but..i'm sure i can complete by tonight....
i spent so much effort and energy on my baking:)..hope that i can succeed..
haven't started my homework yet..
but......couldn't start because i have so much things on hand....
have to wait till i finsh everything before starting my homwork:)
tomorrow's christmas!!!!!!
i'm so excited:D...
going to be santa tomorow>_<... also going out:)... i shall end off here:D......

22/12/08,monday

2008-12-22T00:10:00.002+08:00

20/12/08:
Went for work:)didn't partner up with buddy...
hmmm...
he went to ocean ballroom..
and i was arranged to go to pacific....
quite sad actually:(..
the groom is a army commander...
it's so cool...
his brothers who are also in the army marched
in from the first door..leading them...
and they wore the number 1 uniform......
we continued with our first dish.....
but the people whom i served are so slow when
they were eating...
and they still asked me why do i keep on rushing
to serve the next dish....
after which,i took the comment card for them and they told
me that my service was excellent:D...
so happy...
and gave me "excellent' for everything...:)
i waited for 11 to arrive...
and when it was time for us to leave,
we walked out but wasn't able to
catch the bus which was going to the mrt station...
so..we waited....
but no other bus came..and we finally got up to a bus..(didn't
observe the bus number...)...
when we reached lavender,the person told us that we
won't be able to catch the last train...
so...
we had no choice but to take the night ridder home...
asked mum to fetch me home at admiralty mrt station.....
so,when we walked
home,it's already 2something.....haiz....
quite late....
then went to bed at 3 something.....

hmmm...tomorrow going to school early to take booklist
for next year...shall end off here:)

20/12/08,saturday

2008-12-20T10:40:00.002+08:00

19/12/08:

In the morning,met zan hao at svhool for the passing up

of forms...

and loitered around the school.....saw many people there..

.all were there to buy their uniforms and books

(pri 6 gradutes).....after which,went home and out again to northpoint

.....Went to work...and we were paired up according

to working time again...the 11pm(s) pair up with the 1pm(s)

....i was paired up with my buddy..

think his name is chin khang..think so.....he's so funny..

..when we were about to take the rag and wipe the things,

he told me that there's no need for us to

wipe every single thing.....just the dirty ones....haha

...we were supposed to wipe all the things...

..then,i do as he said...since he had more experience than me...:)

when we chatted,i found out that he's from JJC

....and 2nd year....:)we were in-changred of 3 tables.

...and it was like so busy.....we had no time to take

care of the third table.....naxt,when we were busying

portioning,the manager asked me to go over to the side station

and scolded me for not keeping it clean

....haiz.....i did not cry this time.....it's mayoku

that cried..because of her stupid buddy.....that

the manager wrote her name down on the list..

.hmmm....after that,when it's going to be 11pm,

my buddy told me that he wanted to feign sick.....and join me when i leave...haha...originally,his shift requires him to

work until 1pm....but he said that he was too

tired to...and not in the mood for work..that's why i did every

other thing...he only poortioned that food for two tables.

....anyway,when we left,
he left too.....going to the office...telling the

manager that he's feeling giddy.....haha.....we did not

chase after bus or train...we just got in time for it....:D.....

.reached home,bathed,eat and used computer

before sleeping:)

shall end off here...

18/12/08,thursday

2008-12-19T00:23:00.003+08:00

Was so nervous since last night...wasn't been able to sleep

when i lied down in bed....struggled to fall asleep....

but..still couldn't..so..i took my ear piece and listened to the songs,

sitting in bed...thinking of way too much things....suddenly,

everything went blank....and my eyelids were so heavy....

took my ear piece away and fell asleep...it was about 2.30am then....

Woke up at about 9am....

waited for the time to arrive.......

and sis suggested that we go down to have our lunch

when it's time,we went to have lunch and finally,it was time for

me to leave...

they wished me good luck and all the best

before we went our seperate ways.....

originally,planned to reach school at 2pm sharp...

however..

i do not know why that the bus came so fast today...

so,when i reached the bus stop near

school,it was 1.20pm...

so,i loitered at the void deck near the school

and walked so slowly that i managed

to reach school at 1.45pm...

dragged myself up to the hall and began to get so tense up

again....

kept quiet until the principal announced our results...

i heaved a sign of relief

when i heard that there are 100% passers for

english...

and about the other subjects..

was so happy when i saw clique 1's faces all on the board..

but when i got to know that my three subjects

got total of 4 marks,i was quite disappointed...

called home....told

sis about my results.....she was disappointed too....

me:''i got 4 marks for 3 subjects...''

sis:''huh?why like that?results not good..''

me:''ya''

sis:''never mind...don't be sad..try again''

(sounded disapppointed)

haiz.....

when it's time for us to leave,i decided that i'll wait for

geok theng to leave and walk home from northpoint.......

so...

i started walking from the traffic..listening to songs..

and strolled slowly...

when i walked to sembawang community club,

my legs already felt so tired...

so..i decided to take the bus.......thought of so much things

while walking...

do not dare to go home and show her my results..

but..i still have to face her no matter what..

i tried to drag myself as slowly as possible

from the bus stop back home...

when i reached home,i tried to sound cheerful..

asking my mum if she's interested to take

a look at my results...

she said ok and i showed her...

the first thing she said made me more depressed

her:"what's your marks for the top three subs?"

me:"four"

her:"why four?why not three?you could have done better

than this,you know..."

me:"ya"

haiz....i have no choice.....

next,while i was talking to sis,she said

''i'm not satisfied with your results....''

me:''enough!!!''

i started showing my bad temper and walked away..

Tonight,mum brought us to the nearby temple

for the major event...

it was quite fun but because it was full of smoke(from joss stick)

,it made us cry...left the place at about 10.12pm...

bathed,talked to hao on the phone and

started to on the computer....

hmmm..

shall end off here..

was so tired tonight.......

17/12/08,wednesday

2008-12-17T21:08:00.003+08:00

2nd post for today:)

went out to meet beng and boyfriend..

beng at 12.30 and boyfriend at 12.35

thought that i would be late so sms-ed beng tiat to

tell him that i would be late....

but end up,he was late..haha...late for 8 mins...:D....

then waited till he came already,passed him the present

and went off to meet boyfriend....

boyfriend was late for about 20mins.....

heh...

waited.....and when boyfriend came,we headed

for LJS.....

after lunch,went for movie

''THE DAY WHEN EARTH STOOD STILL''....

after movie,we do not have any other things to do...

so..

we bought tickets for another movie..

''BOLT''..

start at 5pm..so...

we went for a walk near school.....and

played the whole way there....

waited for 5pm to reach.......and...

watched the movie till 6.4o something......

and went our seperate way..

after which,while taking the bus,suddenly felt

like i don't actually wished to go home..

so,i loitered under the void deck...

and suddenly felt like calling bud.....so i called..but

when the line get through,my mind suddenly

went blank...

and nothing came out....

sorry bud.....for calling..for no reason....

let you worry..i'm so sorry....

i'm actually worried about my results which

we will be getting tomorrow...i do not dare to go home

.....

haiz......

nvm...have to wait till tomorrow......

bought the shirt as gift but it does not actually suit him...

i chose it wrongly...

sad.....

should have bought him along when i'm buying...

but too bad.....it's too late....

haiz..

i'm sorry....:(

but again,happy birthday to beng!!!:)

i shall end off here....

17/12/08,wednesday

2008-12-17T10:35:00.006+08:00

gift from sis!!!!!!

qi emo-ing..haha

''HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO BENG BENG!!!!!!:D''

17th years old ler worxx....:)
hope that all your wishes could come true:)..

enjoy your birthday:D...

yeah:)!!

i'm the first to massage you on your birthday:)

16/12/08:

Went for work yesterday...:)met out with friend at about 2.30pm

and went for lunch cum dinner......then went straight

to work.....qi and i are fated together...haha...at first,

the Person-In-Charge wanted to send two people up to

ocean....but at first is a boy...then qi....but when qi went off,

i started the conversation by saying a ''shit!!!''

the PIC:''your friend?''

me:''ya''(sad face)

PIC:''then you go out too''(smiling)

me:''yes!!!!''

then i was like really happy:D...

when we went up to report to Tom,he arranged us

to the table side by side....

yeah..!!!

loves:D.......

so..i can say that we are fated:).....

yesterday's work was quite relaxing......and

felt so relax at work...but...cried...

because being ''scolded'' by the manager......but..

it's really not my fault....

but Tom is really a nice guy...:)loves:)

was able to catch the last train after work...:)and reached

home at about 12.30am......

bathed and went for sleep after having a little things to eat...

shall end off here for the stuff yesterday:)

big sis gave me a cosmetic bag yesterday:)

as a gift:)

cause i said i wanted it and she brought it for me:)

so niceeeeee:D..

loves:)

think that we are not fated together

thought i saw you..

but..

it was a mistake...

i'm told that we are not meant to be together..

15/12/08,monday

2008-12-15T23:15:00.002+08:00

Woke up in time to catch the 10am show...

and followed by the 11am show....

and...

waited for the time to arrive..to go out....

but...

when it's about one something,that person sms-ed

me to say that she cannot come.....

haiz..i was depressed after that.....because nobody

will be accompanying me to buy present

for someone......

and...

when i complaint to my sister about it,

she volunteered to accompany me there..

to bugis>_<..

love her:D.....!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

heh....next,we left home at about 3pm....

and reached bugis about 4 something........

we went up to the shopping centre..and

started to shop for present and clothes.........

when we reached a shop,i saw a shirt...

which suits the person very much..

i think so...

but..too bad...the shop does not have

size M or L....so only left

XL and S....

then i have to choose another pattern....

so i chose one which the manequin wore........

and the manequin looked so cool

and nice in it...

so..

i'd decided on it.....

after choosing the present,the two of us

started shopping for our

new year clothes.....and everything will

be paid by my sister..

haha..i'm so lucky...:D...

then chose three shirts and one pair of shoe..

sis chose one cardigan and one shirt...

then received a massage which frce us to shop shopping

and went home straight.....

haha....i remembered one conversation

with someone...

someone:''you all the way come to give me present,

i must treat you to a movie de..''

me:''huh?is it you birthday or i birthday?''

someone:''me...''

me:''haha....then don't need''

heh....i didn't know that we must exchange gifts

for someone's birthday...

haha.....

but i hope you like the present that i will be giving you....

and hope that this first shirt that you

receive will be the one that you will really like:D....

i shall end off here:)...

14/12/08,sunday

2008-12-14T21:38:00.003+08:00

Second post for today:)....

used computer till 1pm and rushed out for C...

thought that maybe if i take another route,

i would be faster.....

but...it taook me ..erm..another 15 mins?..

haix.....

then reach there already 2.30pm liaos....

then thought will get scolding from them...

cause first thing is....

i did not go there for soem time already..

second is i'm late....

embarassed when i reached there...

cause there are only four people including me

and moreover...i'm the only ''kid''..

heh....

then started it.....

hmmmm..around 3 something....

alfred(think spell wrongly)....reached...

then....hao hao came.....so there are a total

of 6 people today...only......

it's quite fun today......all the things...

then...intended to leave alone today...

but..jean asked me to wait for her......

so...

i waited....and she brought me to another

short cut to mrt......

on the way.....we do not have anything to talk....

i tried to find topics....but talked about everything i could..

but...still didn't manage to drag all the way to

AMK......(cause she alights there)...

so...we kept quiet for almost the whole journey

which makes me felt so awkard......

hmmm..then reached home at around 7pm..

had dinner and bath.......

it's only four days left....

i'm so nervous....(have to write it out....

or else people thought that i'm very confident with

my results....and seems to be ok..haha....

and especially Chrinana Lee siew min...

always thought that i sounded okok...

heh...

and ah tan said that she bet that chrina will cry

on that day......hha..i agree too.....hmmm..maybe i'll cry too..

or shall i say....definitely????....

haiz...don't like to cry in front of people...

cause afraid that i will appear to be a....loser???...

hmmm.....nvm...

but i'm so afraid that i will be crying because of

bad results.....haiz...shall not continue anymore......

so..i'll end off here for today...:D...

yeah..going bugis tomorrow:)

''IT TAKES 8 MILLION PEOPLE TO COMPLETE THE WORLD...

IT ONLY TAKES YOU TO COMPLETE MY HEART''

14/12/08,sunday

2008-12-14T12:11:00.004+08:00

13/12/08:

Spent my day reading ''twilight''..cause thought that i could have rush and complete the book before going for the movie at night.....but...read till 6.30pm,its only half the book...haiz..then give up..haha..because read for so many hours..felt so tired....after which,switched on the computer for drama and waited for 9pm....went out to meet friend for the movie at Ang Mo Kio hub....when the movie ended,it's already 12.10pm..it was quite a nice show......and we were afraid that we will miss the last train...so we rushed all the way to mrt and luckily we caught the last train in time.......and when we reached admiralty,i also caught the last bus in time....haha...i'm so lucky...:D.......reached home,bathed and slept......

14/12/08:

Woke up quite late today......tried to contact someone but no reply.....later going for 'C' but going to go alone today......nvm...shall try to be independent today..........

9th december 2008,tuesday

2008-12-09T21:03:00.006+08:00

60s costumes..

gadgets in the 60s..

kitchen's stuff

soldier's top..

soldiers' cap and knife..

the phone in the 60s..

the tri-shaw....

pots in the past

8th december2008:

Went to National Museum with mum and two sisters......had a really fun time...i did not expect the museum to be so advance in technology now....although i did heard about it from my elder sister.....we went in the museum and found out that my second sis and my school are the member of the national heritage centre......hmmm..so that means that the three of us can enter without paying..for free!!!!heh..and only mum was required to pay for the entrance fees.....we move on to the history gallery..we were all given a small gadget..showing us the directions and explaning the history and background of everything by pressing the number that represents it.....its so high-tech..:D.....next,we moved on to many other gallery.....the food gallery...the costume gallery...and many more.....at about 7.30pm,we left the museum for dinner...at magic wok....the food tastes so nice and delicious......:)after which,reached home at 10pm......had a fun day yesterday:D...

9th december 2008:

Woke up in time to catch the 10am show......and waited for mum's call to go to the polyclinic.....went for consulation of doctor firstly.....and after i went in,the doctor said that i looked so pale.....and asked me to go for the blood test.....while walking to the laboratory for the blood test,i was so scared.....the thought of the needle poking in my flesh made me tremble.....hmmm...finally,reached the lab and the person asked me to sit down...tying a thing slightly above my arm...above the veins....then she swipe the alcohol pad on thepart where she wanted to inject..haha..i closed my eyes throughout the whole process.....heh...then the person laughed at me..ahh..so embarassing.....then went back to the same doctor again.......and she said that my blood test shows that i'm perfectly normal...when the doctor haven't announced that,i was so tensed up...thought that something happened to me..but lucky.....heh.......after that went for haircut....which makes my ponytail looks so funny...exactly like puppy's tail..haix....then went home after that.....:)i'm so excited for the outing next week:)and afraid of taking the results next week....hmmm....so stress up.....hmm..i shall end off here.....:)

i couldn't sort out my feelings now....

i miss him.....but...

i don't think i should continue.....

should give up..right?

but...felt so empty at the thought of it....

like..like...its pulling my soul away from my body.......

7th december 2008,sunday

2008-12-07T23:30:00.003+08:00

Happy Birthday to my dearest brother!!!!!>_<.........hope that you can have all your wishes come true.......:)......

I'm supposed to go for work today......however,felt so sick when i woke up this morning.........so,called the person-in-charge early in the morning and reported sick..and i ps my friends.....sorry.....i'll work for two days next week..i promise........haa.....hmmm....should be released from work by now......went to the private clinic to seek medication this afternoon with mum accompanying me.....we waited and waited...think that the total waiting time was about one hour......finally,i asked mum to go and shop for groceries and the food for the birthday dinner tonight and i'm left all alone in the clinic.....hmmm...waited for a while more bofore i'm called in....doctor always speaks the same words.....''eat more colourful fruits.....remember to take your medications...drink more water....''..hehe...but i'm still determine to be a doctor.......i'll try my best to strive hard.......:D.....

Had steamboat for dinner....and blueberry cheesecake which was chosen by bro.......quite nice and we really enjoyed our dinner....:)..............heh....i shall end off here:)....

6th december 2008,saturday

2008-12-07T01:22:00.002+08:00

Its been a long time since i've touch the computer..its's like the computer had rusted since the day it spoilt.....hmmm..i'm so so so happy that i can be able to use after the technician came to repair it this afternoon....:D.....had gone for work for the...forth day?..think so.....and it's so tiring......making me almost cry.....its really very rush decision to decide to work for three consecutive days.....so...i've came up with one decision..muhahahaaha......should be able to succeed........took friend's dad's car home for the few working days..and..i'm really grateful for this...i remember yesterday,after work,we went to the washoom and started playing with cosmetic.....and we left the place so late that we missed the last train.. and we were stuck at dhoby gaut.....we decided to take the night rider...but..it's at summer set.....and the last bus had already went off....we waited hopelessly....and friend's dad decided to come and fetch us home...he's so good!!!!!our ''jiu xing''....haha..here to say a ''THNAKS!!!!!!'' to you.....you are really great.......:D.......then reahed home at one something....and went to bed at around 3am.....haiz.....during this period of time,there's also a lot of things that happened......and few days ago,we went to visit mrs wong....her baby is so small and cute....:)same length as the smalll booster.....and we also played nitendo wii in her house.....so fun.....hmmm...also thought that i can break the record-not sick for the whole year...but...i'm now down with cold...sore throat....running nose.....and now,one more thing.....my legs' going to break....haiz....haha,...also finnaaly blog not rotting liao......hmmm...but think that it will be hard to use the computer cause there will surely be someone who will snatch the com away from me.....
18/12/08 is coming soon....had been counting down since last month.....i'm so afraid......maybe.....don't dare to be there when the day reach......i'm under much more stress now.......haiz......nvm....hmmm..i'm looking forward to the christmas outing and the outing before that...:)hope that everyone will enjoy it too:D....i shall end off here......:)

Felt so safe and secure when he raise his hand over me...supporting it for me......felt so touch when he looked after me......i'm...confused......is this call 'like'?or.....is it just a moment of confusion?but why does i feel so safe when he's around?never felt so safe like this before.....

I missed him.......but................maybe...tentatively now.....

16/10/08,thursaday

2008-10-16T21:17:00.002+08:00

Had been attending intensive revision for four days and today is the last day...:)....although i had attended whole of the revision,i had been slacking all the way..haiz....indeed no mood to study after 'N' levels....hope that i could ''regain'' my energy for studying after these few days.......after revision today,went home and met mayoku to gym at 3pm....was late again for 10 mins...and she told me that she reached there at 2.40pm...haha...waited for me for about 35mins...felt so guilty....:(...haa....anyway,after working out,its already 5pm...we went to causeway by 969......and went to comics connection and shop for comics........after which,went to library......and dinner.......shop a while and went home.....had a tiring day today..:)

13/10/08,monday

2008-10-13T18:28:00.004+08:00

12/10/08:

Went to SAKURA with mum,fifth aunt and second sis.......we met with aunt outside pasir ris SAKURA for lunch...had a sumptous meal and planned to go to east coast park..but too bad that second sis cannot join us cause she had tuition at night....she won't get there on time.....therefore,we had to send her off first....to pasir ris mrt station...next,the two of them said that they wanted to go to the washroom so,we went inside the shopping centre..and guess what...???...i saw jun wai they all coming out....is like i walked past the 4/1 boys..and they didn't noticed me....haiz...haha..but luckily they didn't..or else...it would be quite paiseh bah......then followed mum and aunt to east coast and it was sooooo boring....we just sat on the bench for....2 hours??...3hours???maybe.......and watch.....the people...the sea.......haiz...and the two of them gossiping throughout the whole way...and me???...i sat there alone.....maybe a few moments of day-dreaming.......hahaz........then after that,when we intended to leave the place at about 8pm,we came across a performance......by a boy.....think he's about my age.....and he's truly amazing......and when i'm watching the performances,Mr Mark past by me...walking in front of me with his girlfriend..without noticing me...think i'm invisible the whole day..cause no one can see me.......(i mean those that i know)...:D.........went home after that.....

13/10/08:

Went for chinese 'o' levels intensive revision today....quite a lot of people didn't come today.......and i was late..haha...today's intensive was from 11am to 2 pm......talk alot today......and took some worksheets...have lunch with zan hao and went home after that..... tomorrow's intensive will be from 8am to 12pm.........and about 20 days to 'o' levels chinese.....ahh..so nervous..and mdm cao said that my language ''de-proved''......guess its because that its been a long time since i've touch chinese.....haiz..got to buck up!!!!...ok:)i shall end off here.........sign off.....

12/10/08,sunday

2008-10-12T09:13:00.004+08:00

Yesterday was quite a fun day for me...:)went out with them to celebrate hui lee's birthday......as they are having their exams soon.........met out at admiralty mrt at 11am and good thing is i'm not late......hahaz....and i'm the first one to reach there.......:D.....after which,we travelled to causeway to buy her present which is a handbag and it was out of our total badget........but we bought it anyway.......next,met up with hui lee and we went for lunch.......we orginally planned to go to safra for the party world...but christ said that she was too lazy to travel....so,we went to the one in civics centre.......ialso saw one thing like bracelet which really made me feel crazy about that thing........although it was simple,i thought that i really love it.....therefore,i bought it.......:)..........after party world,it was still early.....about 4 soemthing...so,ping suggested that we'll go for pool.......at woodlands centre.......when we started playing,only hui lee know how to play...so she taught us about the rules....and all......it was so fun playing pool.......i love pool now...hahaz...no wonder beng tiat went for pool almost everyday.....heh......after pool,it was already 6.35pm....so we went straight home..........:)
it was a fun day after all:D......

10/10/08,friday

2008-10-10T12:19:00.006+08:00

Hi!!!!its been some time since i've updated my blog.......and 'N' levels is over...tuesday is our last day:)......although we had already completed our exams,i do not feel relax at all........its like.....i'm still under alot of stress..and i'm not clear what s the thing that's bothering me........haiz........anyway,we went for our BBQ on the 8 of oct which is wednesday......had a really fun day.......with lao tie,qi,xiu hui,gabriel,melvin and cecelia...:).......qi,xiu hui and me were also in-charge of marinating the chickens......haa..its so fun and its the first time for us too:D..........met at causeway in the late afternoon and headed to east coast.......when we reached there,lao tie and me started to play around......he told me that our star ranger HQ is inside the sea..and our robot will fly o us when we need it.....haha...he's so crazy......then at night,around 9 something,the boys and cecelia went to buy alcohol....hahaz....then left the bbq things for us...we were like trying our best to look out for the fire......making sure that the fire is still there..:)..after that,tried out their alcohol and it tasted so bitter........especially melvin's one...and they still lied to me that the chicken patty was cooked already..but it tasted so gross cause its still uncooked.......then,the boys went near the sea to chat with their alcohol so,i followed them..and listened to their nonsense.......hahazz...and melvin was almost drunk...we can see that his whole face turned red.....heh......when we wanted to go home,we still had to walk a long way to the bus stop,take one bus to changi airport and changed to 858 bus back home..by then,it was already 11 something...in the bus,we chatted and laugh together and got scolded by an aunty...she asked us to keep quiet and we do so...but when we were quiet and just using our hands to play around,she tapped cecelia and scolded us again....she said ''not like girls at all....so noisy......''.....then cecelia like bu shuang liao.....but we managed toreached home safely...hahazz......its a fun day for us...:)loves......

***thank you,my friends.....i'm so touched.....thanks chrina and shu fang for the tag...loves.......***

4 october 2008,saturday

2008-10-04T17:48:00.002+08:00

I cannot take it anymore.....i cannot face her anymore..i think its right that cannot run away forever..but..at least..at least i can run away now...its just so painful....the burden is too heavy already..i don't wish to face her anymore.....i just realised...just realised that its impossible to let her understand about my thinking......i hated it....just quarreled again...and she's out now cause she don't want to see me....i want to get out of here....i'll escape..as far as possible...if only i'm allowed to......:(.......if only..if only i'm not home today...it would be perfect if i'm not at home....and it would be even perfect if i can disappear from this world..its not just throwing tantrum......if there's a chance for me to be in a coma...i'll just sleep as long as i want to...i wouldn't want to wake up again.....it would be good if fa xing and ru yi are here with me.....i'll be able to confide in them.......i'll even exchange with them...allow them to come to this house.....to be able to be alive......i lifted my courage a few days ago and showed her my results......and her response was as expected...''u've only got a 6th position..its not good enough.....why are you not the 1st?.....and your poa...why are you not the 1st in class?......you only got a 79.....''...i can only keep quiet at that moment.......i couldn't say anything anymore....although its already expected,i still feel guilty like normal......therefore,its better to escape than to face it.....i tried facing it..but what i got back are injuries.....i do not wish to get hurt again.........i shall end off here today..........

(i'm sorry that i have to vent my anger and unhappiness like this.....but..there's no other way for me to do it.....i want to get away....)

27/09/08,saturday

2008-09-27T22:14:00.004+08:00

Happy birthday to my second sis!!!!!!>_<... had a simple celebration today...:)......although simple,we were quite happy...for that short moment,i had almost forgotten the unhappiness that have been bothering me...... It's only almost one more day to 'N' levels exam....hmmm.....i'm so nervous about it....i want to try my best to work hard towards my targets.......hope that i could reach my target.....i do not wish to disappoint them.......i promised that i'll work really hard......really...please believe........i 'm only left with the last breathe to run all the way to the point...if i couldn't make it,i might really break down...i'll not even hestitate to break down in front of everone.....because the burden is already too heavy for me to take it.....i'm afraid that i'll give up.....:(....I had been thinking....thinking that if i entered thru-train beforehand,i would not have such a hard time......its so upsetting that i'm not able to reach your targets....i'm sorry......:(...... For this whole week,i've been so busy...busy adjusting.....haiz.....felt so tired.....had been emo-ing for two or three days in school....i couldn't take it....therefore,broke down in front of buddy.....thanks,buddy..loves.....and i'm sorry to the others that i had been showing a bad attitude towards you all.....:(....i also appreciate the boys in my class.....especially qiang and yang.....always trying to cheer me up.......arigato..:)......also,stayed back night studies on tuesday and friday......had a fun time on friday......:)especially with qiang around..he's so funny and talking nonsense all the time....haha......and jia hao was also ''molested'' on tuesday while walking to northpoint......haha..it's an indian man..think his brain is not on the right track.....hehz.....:D........i shall end off here......shall post...maybe...after 'N' levels?...hehz......all the best for everyone taking 'N' levels......especially zan hao,grace,qi,chrina and mao.....yang and qiang too..:)......buddy told me ''hard work pays off..''...i believe in that too......all the best:)!!!!

***i've already been trying..always trying...but..i couldn't do it.....please forgive me...it's not that i want to feel that way for you....and did not want to cling to you unnecessarily......but..i've been given no time to settle my feelings....but..i'll keep on trying..try to avoid you...and its lucky that we won't be seeing each other in a short time......you must be feeling relief........sorry to cause trouble to you..gomei......:(***

18 sept 2008,friday

2008-09-19T20:56:00.002+08:00

It's been a week since i had last updated my posts.....went to school on monday which made me waste one day in school...didn't attend school on tuesday....and attended school the rest of the days.......:(...many things had happened......but i don't really wish to talk about it....had been emo-ing almost the whole day today......i reached school with a bad mood today...didn't intend to be like this the whole day but someone force me into it....don't anyhow assume my reasons for my actions.....i didn't mean to do anything which will have a disadvantage on myself......why would you even care if it doesn't concern your future?....stop scolding me indirectly!!!!if you are not happy with my attitude or actions,you can tell me straight,face to face........i've already had enough...but..you are adding on to my burden by saying things unthinkingly......i'm starting to have negative thoughts.....it totally ruined my day.......i'm so tired.....

During recess today,had been emo-ing at the yellow door......thinking that i'll just hide quietly without anyone noticing...but...who knows that the boys wanted to enter from that door......hmmm...after which,they sat down there and dinesh ask if i'm okay.......i said yes and walked off immediately.....after that,thought of it and thought that it was actually quite rude for me to do that......but i'm afraid that if i stay there any longer,i would just break down anytime......and it would be embarassing to do so in front of so many people.......:(but...i really want to apologise..for just walking away......didn't mean it.......sorry......after that,have a few lessons before lunch.....during lunch,went to northpoint's food court......had korean food.....after that,mood turn better.......thanks to them.....:D.....went back school to attend chemistry lesson at 2.15pm.....we were supposed to do our papers and zan hao suggested to go over to her place to complete it together......she said that the surrounding air was better..more fresher....haha.....after which,have quite a lot of fun before leaving school with geok theng and berlinda.......its really a tired day for me.....

**i've been trying not to face you directly..but..you were always appearing in front of me.....i.....wanted to give up already..i cannot take it any longer.....its been way to many things to handle....the burden is overloading.............i'm also guilty facing her...afraid that my results will disappoint her....i wanted to disappear from this world.....maybe i can give it a try......comeday...perhaps......:(**

thursday,11 september 2008

2008-09-12T00:15:00.002+08:00

Happy birthday to MUM!!!!!!!! and also happy birthday to AH TI too.....:)
Become older after this day lers.....haa....funny......:)..

Its the last day of prelim exam today..we had our POA papers today....don't have much confidence for this paper.....hmmm....never mind..don't think too much already..its over......and we'll be having one day holiday tomorrow!!!!yeah!!!!i'm going to slack tomorrow....:D.....

Had a quite boring day today although exams were over.....met mum at yishun mrt in the afternoon after the papers......went to toa payoh and had our lunch...after that,went to do something important and went to work with her....haa....so boring...i ended up loitering at bukit pangang shopping centre in my uniform for three to four hours alone......its darm boring.....without anyone to talk to and no one to communicate with...haiz....then,after loitering in the shopping centre,i dread myself back to the location but.....she's still not ready to leave.....finally,we left the place at 7PM!!!!!wow..i can't believe that i spent 4 hours today in the shopping centre.........

Originally,thought of celebrating mum's birthday by having her to cook the birthday noodles but she said that its too late already...then,when i told my sister about her plan,she objected to it and volunteered to cook spagettie(dunno how to spell)...haha...for us.....we were surprised as normally,she would be reluctant to even step into the kitchen...she had made sacrafices for my mum..haaa......had a sumptous dinner tonight....:).....

All the best to the tru-train people(dunno how to spell)...for the fieldtrip.....go there safely and also come back safely too..i'll stay here praying for you all....will miss you all badly..take care.....:)loves.....

Thanks for all the presents,my friends:D....the piggy bank,bee tofu soft toy....pencil box......wind chime......photo frame.....key-shaped key chain and red packets.....loves......thanks.....didn't update on the day of my birthday as i did not have much celebration with my family....cause........hmmm.....anyways....xiexie.....:D....

***I knew that the feelings still exist....but.....it seems to be fading...or..not????...i'm not sure....why did you seems to be like.....avoiding me????.......cause it appears to be like that.....hated when you did that...i did not talk to you unnecessarily..did i???then why did you do this to me???i just want us to go back to what we are like before this........***

6 september 2008,saturday

2008-09-06T22:34:00.003+08:00

***the choco cake***
***boys over flower***

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO QI!!!!!!!!
Hope that all your wishes can come true just as you wished....:)....and get your targetted 'N' levels results........must work harder for everything........and remember that we'll always be by your side:)

Its so fun today:)....loves....at first,planned to go to bukit batok to collect her present....but ended up leaving westmall without anything......cause i forgot to bring the receipt along..then the girl wouldn't allow me to take it...haiz...don't blame her actually cause its not her fault......then,i rushed back to meet the others.....and i'm late.....why must i be late everytime?i don't understand...next,we proceed on by walking around to decide which shop shall we go to for......lunch...???dinner???.....haiz......not sure cause it's already 3 something.....then suddenly remembered that we have not bought the cake....so,the two of us rushed down to the basement and chose a chocolate one,telling others that we have something on....haa...finally,we rushed up after buying.......and also,decided to eat in seoul garden......had a fun time eating.....and also took many pictures and a video but too bad..cannot post.....next,we proceed on to the cinema and decided to watch ''boys over flower''.......it's a nice show:)...(of course....:D..cause chosen by we two>_<..)......haha....when the movie eneded,it's already 9.10pm..which means the movie lasted about 2hours 20 mins...wow...it's so long right?.....haa.....:).....went home after that......i love my friends:)yeah...love today too......all thanks to everyone today.....:)happy moments......i shall end off here....will update if something interesting happens....

30/08/08,saturday

2008-08-30T19:02:00.002+08:00

Yesterday,went to school for the teacher's day celebration...i'm amazed by the performances..its so interesting and not boring at all.....but..felt a little afraid as next year,it will be our chance to perform for the teachers.....after which,went to have lunch with zan hao and half way through,lao tie called me and asked me to join them.....but..i cannot ps zan hao..so,cannot join..:(....sad......after that,went straight home and met Gojo for dinner at sakura.....its so far..at boon lay.....lastly,finish our meal and enjoyed a stroll in the stadium before we left..had lots of fun yesterday......:)

Although i'm happy presently,i still sense that there will be something bad that will happen soon.....its so terrible.....so afraid.......afraid to see something which i don't want to see it.....hmm....nvm.....next week,tuesday,it will be the start of our 'N' levels.....tuesday-chinese,wednesday-social studies and thursday-english.......so nervous..however,something which made us disppointed is that we will not be sitting in a air-con hall...rather,a hot,warm and uneasy hall.......haiz.....we should be treated better...haha.....:)and tomorrow,it will be my day!!!!but...just don't feel right.....i don't feel secured at all.....its like something really terrible will haoppen..just tomorrow......haiz...think i should not think too much.....:(.......but.....just work harder for my exams......all the best everyone!!!!i shall end off here.....

28/08/08,thursday

2008-08-28T19:24:00.002+08:00

Felt so tired today..almost felt like fainting.....ahh...
Reached school at the same time today and saw hao and the gate...she asked me to accompany her to meet mdm cao yang at the glass door...and we met her till 8 something....skipped a little of the spring cleaning....:)lucky....after which,continued with our lessons.....all the way till 4pm...mayoku also fall sick today..fever....hope that she can get well by tomorrow:).....chrinana too....fever also...must take good care of yourselves...both of you must drink more water......be prepared for 'N' levels....

Yesterday,during chemistry lesson,shu fang asked me why am i absent for two days and i told her that i'm admitted to hospital...and she cried....i did not know that she cared for me......:)so touch......thanks,shu fang..loves.....:)i'm so excited for tomorrow.....its teacher's day celebration and i'm going to have a busy day......so many plans with different people.....and also going for celebration with gojo tomorrow night...:)..couldn't wait....:D...

I shall end off here:)....will update tomorrow night:)....

24/08/08,sunday

2008-08-24T22:02:00.002+08:00

Felt so strange today......and also quite boring.....wasted the whole day...walking around,using computer and talking...haiz..regretted badly on this....and felt so guilty..cause soemone actually believed that i was using my time fruitfully today...ahh...i'm sorry.....i didn't mean to pretend to......hmm...all the way up till now..i hadn't been doing much.....and 'N' levels is onli next next week......felt like banging on the now.....hmmmm..i'm also thankful to the school for arranging those performances during the assembly.......i knew that the intention is to allow us to take a little rest before our exams.....thanks.....

i'm not sure what's wrong with me these few days....i've been having mood swing too recently that i'm beginning to suspect if there's anything wrong with me....and....i felt so frustrated and maybe disappointed upon hearing his name......hmmm...don't really know what's wrong with me.....ahhhhh...help me pls.....i'm going to be down with depression if these goes on.....:(

Going to try my best for everything thta i will be doing from now onwards!!!!for her..for him too......two person whom i will remember deep in my heart....i promise....its my promise towards the two of you........

Anyway,its the closing ceremony for beijing olympics......the performances were quite amazing to me....its beautiful.....and its quite a memorable olympics.....lasted for 16 days.....at least singapore got a silver medal...and its the first one.....:)cheerss....

its time to end off here!!!!!:).......

sin:D

24/08/08,sunday

2008-08-24T14:17:00.004+08:00

Tagged by Berlinda :D

1. The person who tag you last you is :
-berlinda

2. Your relationship with him/her is :
-Friend ! :D

3. Your five impression of him/her is :

1.She treat me as friend
2. She's my classmate
3. She's from chinese dance

5. She's YTSS student

4. The most memorable thing he/she had done to you :
-Nth

5. The most memorable thing he/she had said to you :
-thank you

6. If he/she become your lover ,you will :
-Not possible

7. If he/she become your lover , thing he/she has to improve on will be :
- Not possible

8. If he/she become your enemy, you will :
-probably not possible

9. If he/she become your enemy , the reason will be :
-because of someone else???

10. The most desired thing you want to do for him/her now is :
-Nth

11. Your overall impression of him/her is :
-She's nice as a friend

12.How you think people around you will feel abt you ?
-not very sure..

13. The character you love of yourself are :
-always being optimistic about things..

14. On the contrary , the characters you hate yourself are :
-always thinking too much..

15. The most ideal person you want to be is :
-being the nicest person in the whole world..:)

16. For people that care and like you , say something to them :
-i love u..please do not abandon me...

17. Pass this quiz to 10 person that you wished to know how they feel about you :
-Zan hao
-grace
-li qi
-yang
-chrinana
-beng tiat
-jasmine aw
-nathanael
-kahyee
-wyping

18. Who is no 6 having relationship with :
-nobody,but i'll help him..:D

19. Is no 9 a male /female ?
-Female

20. If no 7 and no 10 are together , will it be a good thing ?
-its impossible

21. What is no.2 studying about ?
-N level

22. When was the last time you chat with no 3 ?
-24 aug

23. What kind of music band does no 8 like ?
- err..not very sure

24. Does no 1 have any silbling ?
-yes , brother

25.Will you woo no 3 ?
-Not possible cos i'm a girl

26. How abt no 7 ?
-She's a girl...

27. Is no 4 single ?
-yes

28. What is the surname of no 5 ?
-Lee

29. What's the hobby of no 4 ?
-erm..not very sure

30. Does no 5 and 9 get along well ?
-They do not know each other....

31.Where no 2 studying at ?
-My class in Ytss

32. Talk something about no 1 :
-She's my good friend and in my clique

33. Have you try develop feelings for no 8 ?
-No...

34.Wheren no 9 live at ?
-err..not very sure...bishan????

35. What colour does no 4 like?
-don't know...

36. Are no 5 and 1 best friend ?
-should be....

37. Does no 1 have pet ?
- No

38. is no 7 the sexiest person in th world ?
-no comments..

39. What no 10 doing now ?
-outside,shopping???or at home sleeping/studying??

Finally done the quiz :D

23/08/08,saturday

2008-08-23T13:58:00.003+08:00

22/08/08;Friday

Went to Nihon Mura with Gojo for dinner......had quite
a fun day....>_<...(i'm sorry for not joining the others for dinner....)ps......the time that we took to go there was about one hour and twenty mins....hmmm..... its quite a long time for us..and the bus was really crowded with people as its time after work and school for all.....:).. managed to squeeze up the bus and got out of the bus in time... it was already about 7pm when we reached there.....had a sumptous meal bafore leaving which was about 8pm.....its considered a waste as we only stayed there for one hour:)but i did not regret going there.....after which,we took train back.....and,when we reach the station,we do not know which side should we take...and the train was already there,door closing..therefore,i ran and check the board.. i thought Gojo was following me but she did not manage to catch up... haha...when i ran into the train,the door closed....we staring at each other blankly...then i immediately told her that i will be waiting for her at the next station...hmmm..its quite scary at that time....cause i'm left alone.....Gojo's scared too....:)next thing i knew was that i'm all alone at the station call ''Lakeside''..and its already 9 something at night....which made me more afraid...... wouldn't have rushed in like that if i knew it would be like this.....regretted...and sorry Gojo...for ''abandoning'' you like that.....i promise that i won't do this again.....reached home at about 9.30pm after that.... also,we promised that we would be out celebrating our up-coming ''big day''....heh....hope that it could be a successful one.... ahhh..i'm so excited about it..even if its a few days more:)... thinking of going zoo at first...but its so ridiculous....haha then,thought of going Sakura.....and attemting to call the others out too....:D.....hope that this year could be a memorable one......:) and also,so excited for the teacher's day concert too.... knew that the sce 4s had been working very hard on their performances..so,wish that i would be able to see it as soon as possible:)....i shall end off here.....

15/08/08,friday

2008-08-15T22:39:00.006+08:00

***hui lee and me!!!***

***our desserts***

***christ and me***
***ping and me***
***christ and hui lee***
***my spaghetti***
***our fries inside the soup..its nice..**

Many things happened today....

Reached school at the same time and found out that chrina,grace and ah bin didn't come to school.....and also,felt like i'm going to vomit anytime.....felt so so so unwell....shu fang told me that i looked very stress....Dinesh also told me that too...and its maybe that i kept venting my anger on him today...kept scolding him....''sorry dinesh!!''....after which,carried on with our lessons....and finally,its lunch time...melvin and me went to 4n1 to study our chemistry as its very quiet there......when lunch is ending,went to take my math worksheet from chrina at the gate and when i went up,something happened...which made me felt that the boys really over-do it....i didn't mean that you all cannot play or tease each other..its that something that you all said might mean alot to another person.......hmmm...continued with math lesson and took our chemistry test....which made me relax after it.....

Its already almost 5pm after our test and had to rush in order to make it in time to meet the others....our meeting time is 6 pm and i had to rush home and hurry to causeway to buy their presents before meeting up with them....luckily,my dad had some free time which he could spare to make use of it to be my driver for that few minutes....haha....managed to reach there on time.....which made me heaved a sign of relief......:)...we waited for ping to come while sitting around near civic centre....and finally,she came and we went up to seoul garden to have our sumptuous dinner....we played around throughout the dinner....and also took alot of photos too....next,finished our dinner at about 8.15pm.....we decided to go home after that....and....i'm quite happy as i finally have friends to accompany me to take the same bus home.....which normally,i don't....as most of them live in yishun.....loves:).....seperated after that and i really appreciated those times that i spent with them...maybe...to me....,its the only time for me to really relax....away from all the problems....thanks my friends....:)

Received my presents in advance today....got a small water cooler(from hui lee and christ) and a small little bear decoration(from ping).....:D....the times really made me happy although time flies......

12/08/08,tuesday

2008-08-12T19:28:00.002+08:00

Took our results today..and i got a A2.......actually,i'm wondering if i'm supposed to be happy or sad?but once i reached home,i found out that i should be sad.....and even guilty.....:(.....when i told her my results,she blamed me.....blamed me for getting such result.....scolded me for not working hard.....compared me with my sisters.......i hate her..hated her for all these...she won't even try to understand...try to understand my feelings......she never ever saw my hard work....but..rather....my results......she only want my results...those things that could make her feel proud..feel proud in front of others......felt so unhappy after hearing what she said.....i cried...but..its not because of my results....its because of her....saying all those things........why?why must she keep saying such things to add on to my burden?????i shall end off here.....(no comments needed....)

08/08/08,friday

2008-08-08T21:20:00.003+08:00

It was quite a fun day today..but ironically,its also a boring day...:)we were supposed to reach school at 7.15am..according to the moniter.....reach school and saw zan hao.....so,we walked up together...and..saw mr eugene lim..haiz...zen too....after reaching the classroom,we went to change to our full-u which made us felt like we were going to burn....so hot!!!...heh....went to watch the parade followed by performances after that...hmm...also being scolded badly by mrs samuel for playing...haiz...she scolded me in front of so many people.....ahhh.....but anyway,its over......after which,the performances ended at about 10.30am....so early....and headed for the UG photo-taking...haiz...SJAB is the last to take..and we still have to let the NCC to take first.....hmmm....and it took us so much time...just for waiting......finally,after photo-taking,went off to meet them...and watched ''money no enough 2'' with them..its really a funny but sad movie....we cried alot....heh:)....after movie,its already about 4pm....we went home straight after that.........lastly,happy birthday to xiu hui and happy olympics.....:)

***i thought that if we were able to see each other again for the third time,it means that we actually have the fate to be at least friends...but...i was wrong to think so.....i'm to blame for it....i should give up soon..***

06/08/08,wednesday

2008-08-06T20:55:00.004+08:00

Oh...i'm so tired today......finally...exams for this month is over!!!!!loves~~~....have to wait till next month,2nd september for our 'N' levels chinese paper......hmmm..and one more thing...we'll be getting back our chinese 'O' levels results next tuesday....ahhh..i'm so nervous......hmm..heard from Mdm Cao Yang that we will be taking it from our form teacher,one by one....haiz...so afraid....haha...Zan Hao and me had also promised each other that if we get the results that we do not wish to get,we will be hugging together and cry..haha....but obviously,we are only joking.....:D...hmmm....on 4th of august,we had our english prelim paper....on 5th august,we had our chinese prelim paper and today,6 august,we had our SS prelim paper.....so tired these few days....plus....i've been having mixed emotions these few days...should i give up or not?..i've been hesitating....hmmm....think that i should drop this issue as soon as possible....and....two more days to xiuhui's birthday!!!!25 more days to mine!!!!!and one month more to qi's........oh....heh..it seems like there's a lot of birthday girls this month...

One more day of school and friday will be the national day celebration,olympics an xiu hui's birthday too!!!!!heh...feel so excited even now....oh.....let's wait patiently......:).....hmmm..i shall be ready for tomorrow.......and will be more relax...whee.....i shall end here......:)

1st august 2008,friday

2008-08-01T19:04:00.004+08:00

Its a fun day for me today...also a busy day....we actually planned to celebrate mrs samuel's birthday today for her....and her actual birthday is tomorrow......in the morning,we were scolded by mrs samuel badly for standing outside the classroom(jin qiang and me) and others for standing around in class...and we were punished by standing outside the classroom for about 10 mins..and she even told us that she will be issuing jin qiang and me a one day DC form..haiz...but i did not blame her at all... after which, school ended at 12.45pm originally but mrs wong allow us to end it 15 mins earlier....thanks to her that the others can prepare all the things in time....after which,we were supposed to arrange the tables and chairs to the side...and melvin they all went to buy KFC...and others went to take the cake.....zan hao and me went to give the walkathon card to ms soh and join back the class after that....next,we waited for the cake to come and mrs samuel reached class at almost the same time too....we prepared the cake hurriedly and stand in a row,waiting for her to come in...and we started singing birthday song..with a ''I LOVE YOU!'' behind....heh..its so fun..and mrs samuel told us that she's very touch by our actions...she also confirmed with us that no DC will be issued to us....lucky us.....:)....after which,we continued with giving her the presents that each of us prepared and cutting of the cakes......i enjoyed the food...there's pizza,KFC chicken,popcorn chicken,wafer sticks,cakes....etc...after celebration,our class decided to play games together but shu fang,melvin and me met someone else at northpoint for lunch and after that went back to join the class........lastly,shu fang and me went home at about 4.15pm......its so memorable today:)

19/07/08,saturday

2008-07-19T23:13:00.002+08:00

Today was a fun day as we went to library to do homework together....but as normal,we did not do much but rather talk alot..haha...after that,have something on at 3pm and went off but they told me that they will wait for me to come back..heh..so nice sia...then soon after,went back to meet them at about 6pm...and only learnt that they were already in causeway while i was crossing the road to library....heh...after that i rushed up to comic connection to meet them....and when i reached the second floor,i saw that they were all looking at me..heh..but at that moment,i felt so warm..as in i'm glad that they are always with me....and suddenly felt so happy when i saw them....after meeting up,went to timezone cause they say they saw someone that i'm afraid of...heh....after that,we actually decided to go for a basketball game at the court near yishuntown...but we have no ball to play....also felt so sorry towards jonathan and yang cause actually did asked them along to play but cancelled it after that...ps....we'll play again next time....
Finally,we decided to catch a movie...we actually intended to watch ''The Dark Knight''..but the tickets for 6pm,7pm and 9pm were all selling fast...and when we wanted to buy the tickets,only a few sits were left...so,we changed our mind to watch ''Hellboy 2''....it was quite a nice and interesting show...but it lasted for about two hours...and we were sitting at the second row..which made my neck really pain....after movie,it was already 10pm...and i felt like i'm going to fall anytime...as i'm too sleepy..haiz....oh..almost forgot to mention...we also saw matthew they all and ivan together at the cinema...they were going to watch ''The Dark Knight''..and they actually managed to buy the tickets....hmmm..unfair....:(...heh...after which,went home straight..and the two of them accompany me to take the bus....it was a fun day after all~~~~~.....love them!!!!!stay by my side forever,my friends....

18/07/08,friday

2008-07-18T20:34:00.004+08:00

It was quite a terrible day for me today....as many things happened....i can't take it during HUMANS and physics lesson that i broke down suddenly....felt reallt terrible at that time....but luckily..i got friends around me that will concern about me..especially shu fang,melvin and dinesh..i have to say ''thanks!'' to the three of you..and also zan hao....lessons ended at 12.45pm today...and i had been slacking around since then...doing nothing other than chating and walking about...the boys also planned for a soccer game in the field at 3.30pm....hmmm....i went to watch the game with melvin and its a really fun game.....we kept laughing at them..and jin qiang was really funnny.....haha....we also went to the forth floor to watch their game as we do not have anything else to do....and its so amazing that melvin called in a whispering voice..calling ''zen~~~son~~~''..and he heard...haha..so funny...we were surprised too.....:D....stayed in school until about 5.35pm before we left school.....and someone was missing someone so much that someone kept talking about someone..haha..i shall not make further elaboration....heh...after that,walked out of school with shuhada and melvin.we walked in three seperate routes..heh....after we walked a seperate path,i was alone again...hmm...its not good to be alone....and i was thinking of him while walking to my bus stop......haiz.....i really can't stop thinking about him.....hmmm..nvm..i'll try my best to forget ...as what dinesh told me really makes some sense for me....he told me that if i did not love that person so much that i really can't control,i should not consider to be in a relationship.....and if possible don't even think about it....and beng tiat also once told me something like that....i appreciated ur advises...and thanks....

Yesterday,ms howe ask us to go for a talk in the innovative room....she showed us the slide shows that she made during the weekend....its quite memorable as we saw our photos that were taken few years back..since year 2005 that we had entered YTSS.....i realised then that how much i love my class....everyone of them.......and ms howe's also afraid that our class would end up like this year's 5n2.....a class that does not bond together..and clique in groups base on their races.....i'm not very sure if our class would become like that...but i hope it won't.....she also told us that she actually intended to put the name of this slide show as ''the best days of my life''...but she's afraid that soem of us would not agree with this name...but i would rather she change the name to that.....hmmm.....i wish that we would stay as a class forever....

***you should not be the one avoiding me...i can see from your eyes that you was thinking about something..or maybe considering if you still want to befriend me.....sorry to make you feel so uncomfortable...but i should be the one trying to avoid....pls..give me some time for my feelings towards you to fade away..... ***

14/07/08,monday

2008-07-14T17:37:00.002+08:00

Hmm....nothing's been happening these few days....but...today,during english lesson,that stupid OH HONG KIAT.....he kept urguing with me!!!and its really that i did not realise that he wore specs today.....and he vandalises nat's calculator...hahaha..i've posted it up...heh..hong kiat,did you see it?heh...:)and i need to clearify something...i do not have any boyfriend!!!!haiz..stop spreading the rumours....someone might be hurt because of this.....please.....i shall stop here....

11 july 2008,friday

2008-07-11T18:26:00.004+08:00

Its been a short day today..and its so strange..maybe its because that we have to stay till 4pm everyday and its so strange to end so early today..hmmm...went to school at the same time and as normal,i've always wished to be able to see him.....i mean like maybe if he's walking to school and i can just follow behind him without him noticing me..:)heh...and because of him,i kept thinking about those things that would never ever happened....i mean that its truly impossible...and i woke up at 12 something after dreaming of something about him..and thought that it was already 5 something in the morning....haiz..when can i stop thinking about him?.....as normal...reach school at the same time....and was feeling extremely unwell....cause felt like vomitting....felt better after that.....
In the afternoon,went to have my english 'N' level oral exam....i was like so nervous....and the questions given were like quite difficult....hmm..hope that i could achieve my target....after my oral,went back to class and after chrina went off,it seems that the whole class was so empty and i'm left alone....alone in the empty class made me felt the sudden loneliness....i didn't ever know that the sense of loneliness could be so strong....hmm..went off after that..and throughout the whole journey home,felt even more lonely...and thought of him more....haiz..hope that i could see him..and the day will be only on monday..haiz.....i shall end off here....will update if there's anything interesting that had happened...

***its been lonely without you around...although we are not together,but the persence of you made me have the courage to do everything....hope to see you soon....but i've also promised myself to aviod him..i will try my best!!!!!***

10 july 2008,thursday

2008-07-10T20:58:00.003+08:00

**hong kiat sleeping!!!!**
**matthew and zen!!**

Hmm...nothing big had actually happened these few days...but i'm so nervous about my 'N' levels oral tomorrow.....ahhh...i'm the sixth one to go....but i'm considered as lucky..as grace will be the first to go....haha....wish everyone who's going to take the oral tomorrow all the best!!!

Today,during english lesson,everyone slacked around and talked...but also got do homework....as mrs ong went for oral and was not around....i caught hong kiat sleeping and gays..gaying...haha...its matthew and ah zen..they are gaying in class....heh..>_<...matthew was hugging zen ..heh....so funny....and felt really excited today as i heard something about him.....yeah..but i know i'll be more disappointed if i know the truth....hmmm....doesn't matter now..as i want to be happier now and think lesser about the later part which will be considered as unhappy to me....haiz....also have tests on wednesday,thursday and friday...its almost everyday...!!!!but its better for me as i'm really a slacker..as in i'm really very lazy in terms of studies....'N' levels coming...hope that everyone can buck up and try their very best to promote to secondary five......ALL THE BEST!!!:)

***i'm confused...did you really change?in terms of your personality...i want to know..but deep inside my heart,i felt that you are the same as before the incident....or...do you want to protect yourself in order not to get hurt again so you pretend to be happy?.....i really wondered...**

06/07/08,sunday

2008-07-06T11:30:00.005+08:00

Yesterday was a really fun day...i did not regret going to the concert...we even saw mrs samuel dance..she shaked her butt..haha..and moreover,mr tan yee kan dance too.....also shaked his butt.....heh..almost all the boys and a few girls came and i mean from our class....the other classes almost everyone came except 4/3..so few people.....hmmm...i reach the school quite late at about 6pm cause being delayed by something important....and managed to join tham in the parade square......then we went up class by class....in the hall,qi and me sat with the boys..and they were really so funny..we kept joking....>_<....even have a small fight with yang....heh...the performances yesterday was the most interesting one that i've ever seen....i don't mind going for the second time.....after the performances,its already almost 10pm...as we proceeded to the gate to wait for xiu hui to join us..and went to long john afterwards....cause i wanna see him..so i chose a sit that can see directly..haha.....but i was really lucky enough to be able to see him as he walk pass.....:)....we also took pictures together....and actually thought i catching a movie before going home..but i'm afraid that i'll miss the last bus...so i have no choice...after dinner,went to mac cause xiu hui's family are over there..and have an ice-cream cone before leaving....its really a fun day yesterday..love it the most....wish that my secondary school life won't end so soon...i'm really afraid that i won't be able to see you again......

***wish to stay by your side as long as possible..it seems like i'm already at the deep end of the well..its very hard to climb out of it again....i do not know how to control my feelings towards you again anymore..but i think i should learn to control it from now onwards....i should try to avoid you.....i'll try my best to do it...***

13/06/08,friday

2008-06-13T13:04:00.006+08:00

***yang and me***
***ah mah and me***
***US***
***jonathan and me***

***xiu hui and me***
***nesh in sand***
***nesh and me***
***pathetic jonathan***

***ah zen,dinesh and me***
***geraldine,xiu hui,hao and me***
***xiu hui,hao and me***
***hao and me***

Its an awesome day yesterday.....we had our class outing finally....at sentosa.....but a lot of them did not turn up....>_<...we were supposed to meet up at yishun mrt at 8.30 in the morning..but zan hao said that its too early so xiu hui,zan hao and me met up at 10am and went there together....we reached there at about 12 something....then played with water....haha..its fun...and we also played with the sand....and when i'm playing the water,dinseh came over and i splashed it at him.....:D..he looked shocked at that time and he asked ah zen to come help him to attack me...heh..then they trick me into the water....haha..the other boys came shortly after..and started splashing water at me...and that stupid melvin suddenly pushed me into the water..i ended up falling into the water...and did not bring towel and those shower stuff only extra clothes....haiz..i ended up spending my money to buy all that stuff...haiz....but nvm..its really fun yesterday!!!!!heh..glad that i went to the class outing....after bathing,went back to join the others...and saw dinesh being buried in the sand...haha.....the others who buried him went to have their lunch....ps him there....but got ai ying to accompany him......shortly after,we decided to leave the place together....and its already 6 something.....the three of us decided to go to vivo to shop around and went to daiso...wow...its amazing..all things from japan.....and its oso the first time i'm shopping around in vivo.....heh..that stupid zan hao still told me that i won't get lost as long as she's beside me...haha...in the end,we got lost..haiz....haha..but we've managed to get melvin who was eating in e foodcourt to help us get out of there..haha..thanks alot...i'm happy to have u as my best friend....and glad to see the msg that u type...''That's what friends are for''..you said that..thanks....^_^....its finally a fun day for me yesterday...thanks for being my classmates.....

29/05/08,thursday

2008-05-29T20:30:00.002+08:00

28/05/08:
Reach home very late yesterday..about 10 something cause have something real inportant to attend to...and realised that my room ''almost caught fire''...cause ther's smoke everywhere....i then realised that its my dad who was doing all this ''burning''...haiz...i'm so so so tired yesterday..but..wasn't able to go to bed as early as i'm ready to as we have to wait for the smoke to be blown away..finaaly went to bed at about 11.30pm...

29/05/08:
Yeah....ROD is coming..its on this saturday..this makes me really excited and couldn't wait any longer...moreover,the theme for our attire will be retro...heh..the idea's actually from our junior...hmmm...i'm wondering about their performances...wonder about what performances will they put up and how will it be like to attend ROD....yeah...so happy...
Hmmm...next is...today,i went for lunch with chrina,da yi ma and xiu hui....we had a wonderful lunch today..as we chatted about the coming of doomsday..heh...i'm so excited that everyone will be able to disappear together.....>__<..my holiday.....!!!)...i'm also excited that i'll be going out tml with the three of them...hmm..hope that we will have a fun time together....and tml is also our photo-taking day...we were supposed to bring along our tie...and i finally remember to put it in my bag this year....heh...
Mrs samuel also asked us to choose a place to go for class outing next week...but we could not give her an answer cause everyone has a different place that they wanted to go with the class...haiz..i actually thought of going to east coast park with the class..and maybe barbecue...but...teacher said that its too far already....haiz.....i really wished to go there with my dear classmates....i hope that there will be much more memories for me to keep it....and much more photos....the time that we can actually spend together left only about less than one and half years....hmmm..i should treasure all the happy moments...=.=....ok...i'll be off to watch my show already.....i'll end off here!!!:D...

16,17/05/08--friday and saturday

2008-05-17T21:25:00.003+08:00

FRIDAY:
Hmmm....its been a fun day yesterday....and its friday...although we've got intensive revision and e test and its quite tiring...after e test,we still got to stay back for revision till about five something....and i still thought i have time to go back to at least bath and change into something fresh....but..cao lao shi dragged our time...haha..and when we were copying the things that teacher asked us to,she kept editing and we were all like going crazy..so,i volunteered to help everyone and told teacher that we cannot stand her editing..haha....but not in a rude way....after that,when i'm going to leave,i told teacher that i love her..haha....anyway,she's already used to it already...heh..:)haiz...after which,i went to northpoint to walk around alone..and its so so so so boring...i walked from 5.30pm to 6.30pm...and waited and waited...hmmm..after a long time,i finally get to walked out of northpoint and went to meet them....but i'm so smelly cause after whole day of school... haiz..but its already over...:)and we waited for mayoku before leaving....and when she arrived,we headed to jurong east and changed to tthe train that's going to clementi...hmmm....then when we reached,i do not know which bus stop should we go to...heh..and i anyhow walked and when we reached e bus stop,we then know that its the wrong one..heh..finally,we reached the correct one and waited for e bus to come..but after a long time,it did not appeared and the mummy boy kept asking us to take a taxi there..heh..but when we were hesitating,the bus came but its so full of people so finally,we decided to take a taxi...and they kept asking me if i'm feeling guilty anot...hump....how can like that...i also first time taking e bus there ma...heh...but its also partly my fault cause i'm the organizer....haiz..and finally...we reached the place at 8pm...we sat down at table 118 and took a rest before going around....haa....we really got a lot of fun and left e place at about 9.45pm....heh..we had also decided to take a taxi back to e mrt station but wasn't able to as there is no single cab that is free to give us a lift....haiz...and we walked and walked till we reached e bus stop....haaa...then to our surprise,e bus came and its going to e mrt station....hmmm..boarded e bus and joke a little around and bagan to felt sleepy already...we also had fun in e mrt but also very tired...heh..and i finally got a chance to get off e mrt train first..heh....then reached home at about 10.30pm...its such a fun fun day for me!!!

SATURDAY:

hmmm...its also a fun day today...cause my sis's teacher'sdaughter came to our house to play from early afternoon to night...and she's quite cute..i mean in terms iof her actions..heh..and i've always hope that our house can be more noisy...and today is really noisy with her around...heh...although she didn cry...hmmm....i could not play with her long cause after that i had to go out.....hmmm...its also quite tiring today....heh:D..but i don't mind getting tired in return for a fun day...@_@....

***don't give me excuses....i already know the truth..dun treat me like a stupid...it seems like you don't trust me since the start of our friendship....pls understand...and i will not force u anymore....and dun ask me wat had happened***

10/05/08,saturday

2008-05-10T23:24:00.011+08:00

***in e cafe~~~romantic***

***big sis and me in e cafe with the three hot choc***

***big sis,second sis and bro~~~***

***three !!!!***

***four of us together!!!!***

***three of us!!***

***big sis and me!!***

***second sis and bro***

***three of us***

I really enjoyed myself today....we met up with aunty and went for lunch in sakura buffet restaurant...there's reall a lot of things to eat and shortly after that bro came and we eat and eat..its been a long time since i sat down and eat with my bro....hmm..feeling quite strange..heh...after that,we took many pics together.....and we left the restaurant at about 2.30pm....bro said that he's going for his lion dance competition so he went off after that and we had also decided to go to east coast park.....we reach east coast quite late at about 3.30pm...hmmm...its quite fun..big and second sis and me went to the gabion to sit on it and we chatted for a long long time..after which,we realise that there's two non-singaporean man looking at us..and they look like they were going to do something bad...so,we went to meet up with mum and aunty....but we were boring and there's no other seat for us so the three of us decided to go around....we went through many shops and second sis asked if we want to go to the cafe...we agreed and big sis offered to treat us to e cake and beverage..heh..we found e cafe which is ''the coffee bean'' and we ordered three hot chocolates and one cheese cake...its so costly to go to a cafe..and luckily big sis offered to treat us to it.....(what a nice sis..>_<)...we sat down shortly after and started to chat again....we love the ambience in the cafe which made us felt like its so romantic...heh....and we left after mum called us at 7pm....meet up with them and started our way home....hmmm...its truly an exhausting day for me.....and i only slept for 41/2 hour yesterday cause i stayed up and watched ''fated to love you''..its so nice...haha...wish that i could get more chance to be able to sit around with my siblings and chat....^_^....HAPPY DAY!!!!***

7 may 2008,wednesday

2008-05-07T15:53:00.003+08:00

Its been quite a while since i've updated my blog...had been busy with exam recently and couldn't even breathe properly cause doesn't feel well..as in mood...i've been thinking what will my mum say to me the moment i show her my result slip...but there's one thing i can confirm..that is..she will tell me that she's truly disappointed in me...i hate to listen when she told me that she's disappoint in me...and probably mrs samuel too...i'm really afraid that she will told me off and lose hope in me....although i left only one paper which is my math paper 2,i'm not relax at all...i knew...i knew my results..i felt that i could really foresee my future...this is probably because of my last minute work..its my revenge....and i knew from a long time ago that its my fault for starting so late everytime....its always after the matter that i regret for everything i had done...
I'm feeling a little difficult to breathe and that something is on my chest that is making me felt so difficult...but i should be ok after a few days...don't really feel like going to school after exam as its the days that we are taking back our exam papers...maybe i should skip school for a few days...at least i can escape a little longer before facing everyone...hah..maybe should go hide in the cave for the time being..and shall wait for everyone including my family forget me..after which then i shall come out....heh..what a stupid idea...but at least can hide away for a while...haiz...exam should not be over so fast...maybe at least i could have a few more days to work on my revision...again,i regretted.....i hated this feeling...hmmm...maybe i should go and hurt myself and end up in hospital..hmm..but kiddin lar...but maybe my mum would at least look at me and give me her attention for a while...haiz..but maybe i should not have hope towards this....but at least my friends give me their attention..i'm happy enough...^_^...i have friends who worth my smile...chrinana,jian zhi,tai di xiong,mayoku.....and of course got some more....heh...i love them!!!!...i hope that my friends can be happy everyday...^_^...this shall be my birthday wish for this year.....

Chrinana Lee Siew Mai!!!!!!!WOOHOO!!!!...heh..my boyish,best buddy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!heh.....

11/04/08,friday

2008-04-11T21:17:00.007+08:00

Wow!!!its such a sad cum happy day for me today!!!!..after a ''long'' day,zan hao and me went to SJAB and its suppose to be our last day and meaning is that we had already step down...hmmm...its also our promotion day today..so,its both happy and sad day...i almost cried when i'm eating lunch..cause they go play the graduation song and meiting kept saying things that made me so touch..haiz...really cannot bear to leave them..they will be guaduated this year but we will still have to wait till next year...hmmm..its quite sad..i wil really miss those days when we were together....together in NCO...together when taking the juniors...together when have trainings....and everything....i remembered that day when we went to shilin's house to bake cookies...its such a memorable day for me..and i will definitely remember that forever...and the happy thing for today is that we finally got to promote to our sergeant rank!!!!hmmm...i was so happy....we took photos after the POP...then we took many nice pictures.....^_^..after that we went to the classroom for AGM..and ganna scolded by mdms...cause didn prepare e proposals...but its also true that the badge before us did not do much thing..and i mean my post....haiz..then still have another extra meeting on monday and tuesday.....and there's two person who took over my post...one is chang xin and the other is connie...heh...i think i'm gonna be very busy till tuesday....hmm....its also gonna be e third time we go to 'C'....haha..although its getting more tiring,but i actually enjoyed my time there...hmm...we also took out NAPFA test on wed..and sad to say that i actually failed my sit ups..which i had been passing since sec 1...haix..and also my standing board jump....sobxx..i got only a pathetic 138 on that....haiz....then must re-test on next wed....hmmm..hope that i can pass that two station then i can at least get a bronze...hmm...wanna go watch D.GRAY MAN already...and i shall stop here....i shall also say that

I LOVE SJAB,PLT 4!!!!!MEITING,SHILIN,CHRISTINA,XIAO ZHOU,YIHUAN,ZAN HAO,SHAT TING,NISA,MELVIN AND KAMAL........!!!!!!!!!!!!!!@_@

29/03/08,saturday

2008-03-29T20:24:00.002+08:00

Wow!!!!its another interesting day today.....woke up at 5.30am today as i had something really impt to do...and am suppose to report for sjab flag day after that at sembawang mrt station at 7.30am...it seems like just a wink and its our fourth year in sjab...and also the fourth time participating in sjab flag day...its quite fun but also boring today...at first,i,the group leader,seperate my group into in each team and we went our seperate ways after that..i'm grouped together with zan hao and we went to the passage way near mrt and there's truly a lot of kind ppl..but unfortunately,there's two china girls from naval base came right in front us to snatch away our ''businesses'' and we were really frustrated by their actions...and shortly after that,hong kiat and chrinana arrived and they too grouped as one team and go another way....again,the boys in the same school come stand near them again..then chrina call me and ask us for help..heh..but zan hao got a slight fever and she don't feel like moving so we did not go..we did cheer for them in the phone...but i think is only about 3 mins and they admitted defeat to them...after a while,while we were resting,zan hao said that she's really not feeling well then she went home....she passed the tin to hong kiat when she left...and that hong kiat only know how to slack..haha..**kiddin lar...and he admit that he's useless....but we rested a lot...
The weather today was also like an microwave oven..i'm afraid that if we stay under the sun a few more moments,we will be cooked by the heat....heh...finally,we managed to wait until the time to go back to school and slacker hong kiat suggested that we can take 859 inside the interchange and we did as he suggested...and guess wat....we board the bus and fall alsleep....after about 10 mins of sleep,i was woken up by that stupid bus driver..he turned to the right so suddenly and quickly until i almost fall out of my seat as i was hugging my bag and sleeping...after i was widely awake,i found out that the bus was full of ppl and i was so embarassed..haha...i looked around after that and found out that we were still in sembawang..near sunplaza...and i thought that we were already in yishun..haiz..all beacause of hong kiat..heh...reached northpoint at about 1 pm and we rushed back to school to return the tins....went for lunch in northpoint foodcourt with chrina and we ate spicy fishball noodles..which made my tongue burnt..heh..after that went to vcd shop and on e way back,saw mrs samuel with her friend(i think so..)..then talked to her for a while before leaving.....when i reached mrt station,i don't really feel like going home and went to west mall to walk around....and saw the library there...went in and stayed till 4.30 then leave...haha..today was such a fun and meaningful day for me....^_^...

28/03/08,friday

2008-03-28T21:34:00.004+08:00

Its been quite a long time since i've updated my blog....maybe since last saturday???..think so ba...cause of some unpleasant reason,i wasn't able to use it....haiyo..hmmm...quite a lot of things happened this few days..first thing is that my cca,sjab,won champion for the competition last saturday....!!!...mt's team got 1st for NA section and best in footdrill,first aid and nursing...carrin's team got 1st in NC and kamal's team got 1st in AC...yiqian's team got ..i think 3rd and eileen's team too....i'm so proud and happy for them although i didn join...but its really because of some reasons that i dun really wanna join e com....today is also the 22nd(i think lar...)speech day...we got to sit in the lecture seats...i love the performance!!!especially the ballet and the piano part....the girls look so beautiful when they were dancing...and the two people who played the piano were incredible....thay join together to play one song....i wish i am also able to play...but cannot afford to learn..i really enjoyed myself today very much...^_^went to 'C' last sunday...at first,we were like so excited....then we lost our way as we were finding the place....haha..finally,after asking ppl,we found it...then we join in halfway....all the ppl there were so friendly and fun...but also very smelly..haha..kiddin lar..i oso ma...and they also scared that we will leave very soon..haha...i mux say that i really enjoy my time there....really and i believe mayoku also did....they all so funny...heh...(pls dun ask me who they are)..and mayoku keep talking bout soong chen..haha..sounds like she's interested in him...(**kiddin)...but i mux say that he look quite ok...maybe can say handsome ba..hmm..i dunno..cause i dunno how to look if a boy is handsome or not...after that..we slept through our way back in the mrt...and from here,can see that we are really tired...heh...its so fun!!i truly look forward to the next time there...^_^....'C' ROX!!!!!ok..i think i shall stop here...bye!!!:)

17/03/08,monday

2008-03-17T21:13:00.002+08:00

I hated her!!!!!!Hated her for everything!!!!!I do not want her around...i really cannot take it anymore...i quarrelled with her again...please....stop forcing me like that.....i really dun want to say that i truly hated u...maybe since young......i hated u for not being able to understand me..not even trying.....why?why?why?..why is it that i have to be ur child....???U are always not there when i needed u...and u did not noticed even once that i'm crying..crying quietly and behind ur back.....why won't u even look back?look at me...will u?at least a glance and i will be smiling...maybe this shall be my greastest wish ever....to have u look at me....i had oso broke down and cried in front of her and tell her not to force me....i told her that she does not understand..and her reply is ''i'm not forcing u....i'm dissapointed with ur results and if u keep on like this,i will lock up the computer!!...''..i hated her for being so unreasonable......and she wanted to punish me by not signing the report slip...she said that if i forge her signature,she will call the school and tell my teacher that i forged it.....I HATE HER FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!!dun...dun make me feel this way again...i might do something that will make u regret....i promise........

sunday,16/03/08

2008-03-16T17:48:00.001+08:00

lyrics for ''love me''...

I read a note my grandma wrote back in nineteen twenty-three.Grandpa kept it in his coat, and he showed it once to me. He said,"Boy, you might not understand, but a long, long time ago,Grandma's daddy didn't like me none, but I loved your Grandma so."We had this crazy plan to meet and run away together.Get married in the first town we came to, and live forever.But nailed to the tree where we were supposed to meet, instead of herI found this letter, and this is what it said:If you get there before I do, don't give up on me.I'll meet you when my chores are through;I don't know how long I'll be.But I'm not gonna let you down, darling wait and see.And between now and then, till I see you again,I'll be loving you. Love, me.I read those words just hours before my Grandma passed away,In the doorway of a church where me and Grandpa stopped to pray.I know I'd never seen him cry in all my fifteen years;But as he said these words to her, his eyes filled up with tears.If you get there before I do, don't give up on me.I'll meet you when my chores are through;I don't know how long I'll be.But I'm not gonna let you down, darling wait and see.And between now and then, till I see you again,I'll be loving you. Love, me.Between now and then, till I see you again,I'll be loving you. Love, me.

11/03/08,tuesday

2008-03-11T11:42:00.003+08:00

Its quite boring to stay at home and i'm even more stress when facing her....i do not dare to show her...show her my failure again.....i blurted out my results to her the day before when we were quarreling....i felt turly bad and guilty after that....she told me the next day that she could not sleep that night cause she's thinking of my results.....and i felt even worst after listening to her.....i wish that i need not face her anymore with those kinda failure and those kinda dissapointment from her.....sometimes i feel like telling her that she don't even understand me,why would she care?....but...i could not do this..and maybe..its because i love her too much and also hated her a little....i ....could no longer take this..this large burden thats causing me difficulty..difficulty to breathe...difficulty to walk...even difficulty to cry.....i know clearly from the beginning of my life that i needed family and friends to live on but i truly do not know how to love them the way i should....i felt so envious of my friends....they often got to tell their mother that their mood is not right and their problems...but....i didn't have a chance to....or..is it that i do not want to.....maybe its better to keep mum about my problems.....staying at home is truly not a right choice for me...i wanted to run away....run away from everything i could....so,i could at least take a deeper breathe and slowly think through..think through what do i exactly want......i'm so tired of laughing....but maybe laughing can make my life more smoother an probably happier.....^_^.....

***i'll continue and try not to give up....just thinking of the two of u is enough to let me go on but i will look back and the only memory of u two will not be erase foreva.....i promise....***

08/03/08,saturday

2008-03-08T22:01:00.004+08:00

Hi......time to post again...its march holiday now but i don't actually want to have e holiday....it seems that i'm starting to have troubles since friday...today,i felt so guilty for the wrong thing that i had made....sorry huan....i had the courage to apologise cause i remembered that u once told me that ''for every wrong that you had made,you cannot use any excuse to cover up for it''...and i agreed with you...i told teacher about it..and am trying my best to make it up for you......i promise..promise not to make this mistake again.....sorry......:(....today went for our KOTO test...and the paper made me felt quite confuse..maybe is that i didn't study it properly.......
Yesterday,its quite a busy day for me cause meiting they all didn't come and kamal and me were assigned to take charge of the plt ones....which made us really busy and luckily we got help from a few plt threes.....thanks to those who helped......after KOTO,went to have lunch with emily and zan hao,after emily left,gene came.....and we chat.....after that went straight home and rest for a while before going there.......its so tiring and i'm struggling really hard....but i will continue and get on with it with all my best......i'm really troubled with all e problems....but after i saw christ's massage,i felt better.....thanks for e comforting..its really great to have u as my friend for so many years...you knows me best..love ya!!!!:)..i'm thinking..thinking that after we die,where will we go?many told me that some will go heaven and maybe some hell....but i'm thinking that after we die,maybe the person will let us choose...choose to live in our childhood memories where we had grown up in and had many beautiful images or...choose to go back to the place we had just left.....haiz...but after writing,i think i'm the only one who really understands this sentence....but never mind....as long as i understand,its fine....i shall stop here...nothing much happened today...*_*

(let me to just quietly stand beside u and solve all your problems for you....i won't let you face your problems yourself...come to me if you need me....i promise and i will do it...and sorry for the trouble that i had brought to you....sorry...)

friday,29/02/08

2008-02-29T22:10:00.003+08:00

Oh!!!!!its a really happy day for me today!!i went out with theng and hao and they have a new nickname each..hao is ''dou fu'' and theng is ''ji tui''...haha..and i'm ''dou fu zhu''......its the fist time ji tui went out with us and ji tui went to my house and we bath ler then went out together to meet dou fu after the event.we saw dou fu when we were just about to go to our meeting point then went eat our delicious lunch which is LONG JOHN SILVER'SCOMBO !!!heh...then after our sumptous lunch,we went to watch kung fu dung and its really very nice....quite funny actually...and zhou jie lun look so gong lor...heh...then after movie is about 4 something ler,we then decided to go causeway point to walk around...when we reach,we went to the neoprint shop straight away and took many pretty pictures and its the first time ji tui went to take neoprint,the funniest thing is that she don't know where is the camera..haha...too bad that i cannot post our pictures up my blog cause its very blur to use e handphone to take e puctures in the printout.....went to walk around and ''zi lian'' for a while then sent ji tui to the mrt station cause she's going to e swimming lesson which is conducted every friday at about 7pm.after sending her,dou fu and me walk around the shopping mall again and we also went to try out some clothings in e metro...we both tried one dress which made ourselves so embarass cause at first,we don't exactly know how to wear that and when we want to take it out,we were stuck and it took us quite a moment to get out of the dress,especially dou fu....haha...then we suddenly have the urge to go take neoprint again and for the second time of the day,we went in again....heh..its fun to post around during the ''photo-taking session''....haha....after that,we continued to look around and went home happily at about 7pm....its really a happy and wonderful day for me since last year....

friday,22 feb 2008

2008-02-23T00:02:00.003+08:00

I'm feeling truly awful these few days...cause of many things....not only results....but also friendship.....brokedown a few times already cause really cannot take it.......maybe i cannot devote myself into the friendship that i think can be trusted and i really failed in everything...almost everything...friends,results and family..i failed..truly failed.....failed as a human....i shouldn't have come to this world...if there's another chance for me to choose,i would let fa xin and ru yi come to this world instead of me cause ''living'' to me sounds and feels so hurtful.......i'm not saying this because i'm feeling angry or sad at this moment but,its that i really think so....although i didn't see them before but i'm willing to exchange....and this is one of my wishes.....he..told me that there's no excuse for every wrong that you have made...not even when you really have a valid reason and i truly agree to that....i wanted to learn from him but would have to try very hard.
Sometimes,i would want to suggest to the one who made human to let him/her make someone who will be born without much feelings..wouldn't it be very good without emotions?its good for those who will be sad everyday.......
My life....its filled with miserable memories and i don't actually know what i'm striving for....for now,i think i'm only striving for my mum who wants me to succeed in everything without fail and people who told me to not dissapoint them for everything..........i'm also failed in gaining trust in you.i wanted you to look at me but you did not....i know that you are dissapointed right now and i'm feeling like comforting you but i dare not.....but i shall continue to say ''sarangheiyo''.

***maybe results can truly affect a strong friendship and friendship can cause conflict among each others...we wouldn't know who will be the next one out of that small circle that surrounded us.***

worried

2008-02-16T13:32:00.002+08:00

Haiz...i'm so worried about my term test results...i didn't expect my chinese to be like this...i'm extremely afraid to tell my mum about it.i'm so afraid that she will say ''i'm so dissapointed in u!''.....she will do this and its for sure.and my poa....i managed to balance the account but..but..my net profit is wrong....grrr...i almost cannot take it....i'm also afraid that one day,i might break down.why won't she try to understand me?why is it that i'm scolded everytime for bad results?why won't she say to me ''don't be sad...just work harder for the next time''?why?she never ever encourage me,since young......i'm always so afraid to tell her my failure.......cause i don't wish to dissapoint her.i force myself to success and to let her see...to just get her to praise me.....but sometimes,even if i did my best,she would just compare my results with the others and say that ''your marks are still not good enough''....i remembered once,in secondary 2,i get the highest in chinese in my own class..and when i came back and happily wanted to show it to my sis,she told me that ''u're just lucky for once but not for the next time''.......i don't actually wants to foce myself that much but its not for me to decide whether i want it or not.there's always people around me telling me not to make them dissapointed and i really tried my best throughout the years and still trying hard now.but i didn't get the reply that i think i would get and instead,onc i succeed,i cannot fail again.i shall not say anymore.(dear friends,dun reply if u see this entry,i just want to vent my anger on it,please forgive me....)

time flies..

2008-02-06T17:55:00.000+08:00

Yo!!!i'm back!!!hmmm..my last update is on nov 18 and time really flies..throughtout the months,i've really thought through a lot.....and during these times,i thought that i'vebeen more matured,matured towards facing my own problems and the way that i had to handle them.......i think that i'm not wrong to say that i'm being force into thinking that way as the surrounding really force me into it......friends,school and everything.....hmmm..don't really know why that i'm becoming so emotional these days...often,i will have a sudden thinking that i will be destined to leave all of them....
Maybe i can try to stop thinking cause everything is making me feel so tired and will collaspe anytime....hmmm...but now,i only wish that we will become friends like before....haiz.....let's not talk anything about this now...hmmm..i'm so worried about my term test results now...hoping greatly that our term test period will be over in a wink..but i know that its truly impossible.its been quite a long time since i've touch e com cause there's something wrong with it and we only manage to get e installation disc a few days ago...hmmm..also missed a lot of animes and shows during this miserable period...and now my favourite anime is until episode 60 something already....times really flies...and i truly hate this feeling:(maybe time also symbolises changes in life which i hate the most...we are now in secondary 4 and the feeling from the start of school is like we are all preparing for a marathon that will last for 2 years and we are now already on the running track.....
Hmmm..also wissh that kikoku gang will come back together again cause i really miss the days together although there's unhappy times.....hmmm..and one more thing is that my family are planning to have steamboat later on which makes me truly excited cause we only get to eat re-union dinner once a year......and tomorrow is the first day of chinese new and its a new year again......hmmm..not really happy actually.......and don't really know why....ok..maybe i should stop here....i'll update again....:)

***i'm happy just watching u ...i think that's just enough for me as i don't really have qualities to be even standing beside u....i'm tired but i promise..promise to keep watching u forever....i will be the one to protect u..i swear...***

on e way to zhuhai..

2007-11-18T10:31:00.000+08:00

yo!!!!!!haha..we are now in e airport..already check in liao...hmm..really veri veri excited leh...mux be surprise why i can use com and post an entry..heh...cause we are now using the com in the airport...free one....heh..we smart ma...heh..kiddin....haiz..we now waiting for e time to reach..we going to hong konh first then take a ferry to zhuhai.....
jux now teck seng they all oso got come..then everyone's parents oso got come but except for mine..cause i took qi's daddy de car come de....grrr..really so excited..oh ya..mr yikan bili oso got come...heh..he spoke to us about being not rude..and respect the ppl over there...haa...now with ah qi,xiu hui and geok theng.....hmmm...we walk here walk there,,..so wu liao...but oso veri nervous.....hmmm..haiz...wish to call chrinana,gu lei and zan hao to come and accompany us sia...heh..nvm...after come back then can see them liao...heh...

TAKE CARE MY FRIENDS!!!!!!!I WILL MISS U ALL DE...!!!!!!!!!!!!!MUX COME TAG ME HORXX...WISH ME GD LUCK...^_^...

friday,05/10/2007

2007-10-06T18:48:00.000+08:00

Hi!come here to update my blog lers...heh...today was a wonderful day for me...i've neva been so happy since secondary one..i think...hmmm...went out with mrs tan,mrs lim and miss lee...haha...so so so happy lor...and we whole day like siao like this...veri enthu..heh.....after going library,we decided to go eat dinner,so went to foodcourt..heh..and mrs lim eat so much sia..like got three stomach like this...haa..then after tat went for a little trip around causeway...heh...we went to timezone at first then went to courts...when we were touring around in courts,we looked at e lastest MP3 and 4..then TV...heh..when we saw tat e television was showing mrs lim and miss lee's favourite show,we stopped and watch..heh...then mrs lim go switch on e volume to let us hear..heh..i'm so afraid tat the person will jux kick us out anytime...hahaha....after tat when we decided to go off,we saw e telephone...so we started playing...heh..i gave mrs lim e phone and took another one myself..then we started our conversation..(like crazy like this...)...and sobs....miss lee and mrs tan walked away and said tat we were like psycho...haa...made me heartbroken sia...(pung)...heh...

We intended to go home after leaving e shopping centre but miss lee and me decided to secretly follow the two gays(haha..kiddin)...so we followed and we ended up going to the pasamalam to buy drinks together and mrs lim is like a total crazy,spilling e drink everywhere and whipping it on mrs tan shirt...haha...miss lee and me was like laughing until crazy lers....after everything,we finally decided to go home les..so when i reach home,its already 10 pm lers...heh...then bath-------watch tv and sleep...heh..its such a happy day for me!!!!!

***hmmm...i'm trying my best now in evrything i do...and i wish tat my friend is oso doing e same thing..heh..i love my friends tats always by my side and tried to understand me...thanks...i'm greatly consoled by all these actions....***

04/10/2007,thursday

2007-10-04T23:06:00.000+08:00

Hmmm....these few days.....i onli noes tat everyone was stressed up.....maybe is the unknown stress tat is always coming naturally whenever exam comes....hmmm.....todae,when i ask ah goh about math,he says tat paper 1 onli got about 60% passers..hmmm...then other subs oso made me worried....haiz....everyone around me(except for the boys)are really very tense up...actually by looking at their faces,i can understand lers...but luckily,there are four days of holidays then exam and there are onli three more papers left..next tues is chemisrty,wed is math paper one and thursday is the final and last paper which is the poa paper one...haiz...once papers over then tat means i can enjoy!!!!until next year...and i'm waiting excitedly for the choosing results for e trip...haiz....heh..and our results for e EOY..haiz....but can see tat everyone is really working hard to strive for better results..so i mux oso jia you lor....heh.....actually i decide to write e entry after e exams de but ..heh..now got four days of holidays..so i write lor..and chrinana lee siew mai oso complain tat i neva update my entry so mux update one entry first..heh....ok..da jia mux work hard worxx.....ganbatte!!!!!jia you!!!i shall end off here lers...haa...bb

***i'm really so so sorry for being sure a failure...i failed to notice tat u were not in the right mood...sorry....ok..i swear!!!i swear to change and becoem a person tat will onli protect my friends and be the first to notice them when i'm needed.....yesh!!!!mux jia you in every thing!!!!!love all of ya!!!!!***

25/09/2007,tuesday

2007-09-25T22:51:00.000+08:00

Here is a poem which i love it most....let me share it with u all....

我在你眼里,
我看见了流下的泪水
于是,我明白了......
人生有时辛苦,有时流泪......
并不是一件坏事............

i can translate it for those who onli read eng........

In your eyes,
i saw tears rolling down,
finally,i understand............
sometimes in our life,there's
bad and hard times..but its
not a bad thing....................

Haa......i'm not veri sure if u all like this poem...but i really love it.....heh......
hmmm...these few days....haiz..lesser time to online lers..cause my mummy kept scolding and scold.....then my ear like got struck by wat thing sia....heh......but anyway,3 more weeks to my total freedom....haha....exicited for the next next thursday to come sia...cause is last day of exam lers.....then can play and watch show like siao.....hmmm...and i'm being bullied by the boys sitting around me..hump....(kiddin)...but they kept disturbing lor...haiz....and thursday start of exam lers..and first paper is as usual..eng...haa....hmmm..and there's no much thingy ler..hmmm...and i oso mux work hard for all e promises tat i've made.....heh.....GOOD LUCK EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!!GAMBATTE AND DO UR BEST FOR THE EOY......ONLI 3 WEEKS......!!!!MUX LEARN TO ENDURE.....!.....

***hmmmm......jux wanna say tat i need u all evrytime,every moment and every second.....dun leave me....i'm overly sen sitive..cause of the many incidents tat happened these few weeks and months.....haiz...sorry....mood is not veri right todae.....>_<....

18/09/2007,tuesday.....

2007-09-18T20:48:00.000+08:00

Hmmmm....actually nothing much happened these few weeks lar...jux tat after changing places to sit,i think i can concentrate more lers...haa..its indeed a right choice...heh....sorry friends...if i offended anyone of u due to my changing of sit....heh..ps...hmmm....and one more thing is tat our dear mdm chan is back..heh...i'm quite happy though she kept scolding us in the past..heh..its already 4 months since we've last saw her...heh......
Haiz....anyway..EOY coming lers....so alot of things mux do sia,....hmmm.....and i'm overly excited over the zhuhai thing.......so excited until i'm gonna be crazy sia....but e condition for me to go zhuhai is my results....cause of my mummy..haiz....but its a fact already...can't avoid it anyway...haiz..so mux work hard...and i've made a promise with my dear dear buddy.....i dun wanna be a promise breaker...so i wil work 100 times harder than normal.....i promise..but i cannot acheive it,then ......=<..haiz..so scared....heh...but nvm..i mux relax....cause i knew tat i've made promises with a few of u and i knew tat u all are always working very hard for it....so mux JIA YOU!!!!!!heh....hmmm...anyway,i'm starting to plan for my EOY activities lers...heh...kia su horxx.....heh...i oso noe tat...but when i'm planing,i'm getting excited all over again...heh..i plan..i plan..i plan to go play tennis with u....then go shopping with hao...then go zhuhai with mayoku....then a lot alot of things.....wah...even when i'm thinking,i'm oso getting more and more anxious and....gia po!!!!!wah...heh....heh...^3^(imagining)....$_$....and oso mux have the money..so!i mux save up now lers...heh....ok...i will end off here lers....buai...*_*~~~~~~~!_!

***heh...so happy jux thinking of my friends...i rather believe tat our friendships is all gonna last long and be happy than gonna know the real truth...i wanna forget about all e unhappy things and start my life for friends all again...^3^...hmmm...jux wanna let sring noe tat i will stay by ur side foreva...jux rememba tat when u are sad,i will lend u my shoulder....jux come to me when u need me..k?heh...***

07/09/07,friday..

2007-09-07T22:19:00.000+08:00

Hi!!!!!heh...really happy todae cause went out with mayoku and sring todae!!!heh..we went to eat lunch at LJS this afternoon then went to take our passport size photo...wah...we got to pin up our fringe lor....haa..so nerd...**nerdy..nerdy...nerd...** haha....then take lers then we immediately went to lavender cause already bout 3 pm lers...then we heard tat the place will close at 5 pm...so rushy rush....then reach there bout going 4 pm lers.....(i think so)...heh..then quickly went up to e third floor to make our IC...heh..we queued up at the "birth/death/IC/dunno wat" to take our queue num....then take lers then went inside to wait...hmmm..we waited for a short moment then its our turn..i still rememba...mine is B577 and mayoku de is B578.....heh..i got gd memory horxxx....heh....after tat i used sring's nets to pay..heh....then halfway,mayoku then noe tat her photo cannot cause got reflection at the specs....then have to go take again at the photo-taking there..haiz..wasted money becoz of tat person at yishun de photo shop..cause she dunno how to take photo..then take till here got prob there got prob..haiz....heh..actually mine oso cannot cause got shadow at the bottom of my face there....but tat person say she sent there first then if they accept then can lers if cannot then i still have to go there again then have to take a new photo there..haiz.....
After tat mayoku and sring wanted to accompany me to make my ez-link card but when we reach e first floor,i accidentally bang into a rubbish bin...wat sia..then my toe suffered from major ''blood stop''...haha..kiddin....heh...but really veri pain lors.....hump..suai.....then after tat went to sunpaza but they end up saying tat cannot make it there then mux go ang mo kio..haiz...so i gave up.....heh...so we went to causeway to walk..heh....i dun quite rememba wat shop we went but remembered tat we bought a wrist band....heh...and afetr tat went to popular...then bought 2 books...heh....sring oso bought it....then we oso thought of exchanging to read..heh..oso wanted to lend it to mayoku..so can improve language ma,...heh...actually wanted to go basement to buy takoyaki or even the special de ice-cream de but sring end up saying she dun wan eat..heh..so we decided to go home lers....heh..really had a wonderful day todae!!!!heh..^3^.....

***WARNING:SRING IS THE REAL LU BAI CHI!!!!AND ALWAYS WANTED TO FALL DOWN...HEH.....MAYOKU OSO...TWO OF THEM ALWAYS TEND TO FALL DOWN...HEH...^3^***

***i am really enjoying all my moments with u all....really..i'm not lying or wat....heh....i wan to be a person who have lesser worries cause i knew tat i can't wish for ''no worries''..haa....and i wan all my friends to stay beside me!..heh..i am happy as long as i have u all.....^3^***

6 september 2007,thursday..

2007-09-06T23:04:00.000+08:00

Yo!!!!heh...so happy todae....went to library with sring sring in the afternoon and then.....i've finally completed my hmwork!!!!heh..first time sia...but too bad..i left onli chi newspaper article...hmmm..nvm..i can do it!!!after do finish ler then can play lers....heh...we stayed in e library until bout 7 o'clock then went to shop for mayoku's present...heh...actually wanted top buy a big big tigger for her de but someone else brought it..sob..earlier than us!!!!!stupid..dunno is which stupid buy away de....then we endedup buying a much much smaller tigger...haiz....but oso think tat its somehow not enough..so went to another shop to buy...then saw an interesting lamp....heh...if wanna on e lamp then mux go lift up e below part there...heh..so funny...but oso quite pretty lar..i think so...then oso got one is got clock at the stomach there but cannot ''song zhong'' ma...so we gave the no clock de..heh....
After buying,we went to e basement to eat tokoyaki...heh(dunno how to spell)...heh..then so nice..e surface a bit crispy...heh....after eat finish eating we went to wait for bus..and veri wat lor..waited for so long and finally..it come....heh...went to e bus interchange after we reach yishun and board e 804..haha..after alight ler then realise we were lost..heh...but call miao for help ...heh..he oso offered to come down and pick us up..heh..so glad tat he offered..heh....then gave e presents to mayoku's daddy ler then we went to take e bus home...heh..i wanted to take e taxi home and saw mayoku at e taxi stand..heh..so qiao...heh...but oso glad tat i can say a ''happy birthday!!'' to her face to face..heh....hope tat she really like those presents....heh.....happy birthday to u~~~~~~~

sheng !!!!HAPPY
ri BIRTHDAY
quai ler.... MAYOKU!!!!!!!!!!

***heh...so happy todae..quite long time neva play till so siao lers..heh....hope to stay like this everyday.....and i wish tat i can help my friends to celebrate their birthday everyday.....so i can stay happy everyday..every moment....haiz..but is impossible de....heh..stay happy everyone!!!***

03/09/07,monday

2007-09-03T12:23:00.000+08:00

everyone busy doing their work...

our uncook cookies...

tina and me with the cookies..

lin and me...

platoon three's cookies....

our professional cookies for all chers..

meiting and me....

breasty making e butter...

31 august 2007,friday..

2007-08-31T20:20:00.000+08:00

Hi!!!!!quite happy but oso quite shock todae.....happy because its my big day todae..heh......i received many presents and small amount of money oso.....haa.....went to sch to see performances....then after tat went to give sjab teachers e cookies tat we made earlier.....after tat went back to class and take textbks.....then thought of going home first then go out with mayoku later...but when going out of sch,i saw breasty...then we went to sunplaza to eat ler....haha..when i say wanna go KFC eat then she say someone got food poisoning...haha..so i say go cavana eat then again..she say got about 5 ppl or dunno six got food poisoning ...haha...so we went to mac...haha..then no place....so finally we decided to go KFC again...hahaha....then breasty say...''why am i taking the risk of getting food posoning with u?''...haha....
After eating,we go buy soya ice-cream eat then i treat breasty..haha...(she force me....)kiddin.......then after tat,we went to library there eat finish ice-cream then went to comics connection..haha...after a while of shopping then we went home....heh...after tat immediately rush out to meet mayoku....we went to watch the movie ''Ratatouille ''...haha..so funny and cute sia.....and almost the whole theater full...so nice.....then after tat about 5 smthing then go home ler.....come home bath ler then eat dinner...heh...wat a sumptuous meal tonight...haha...
i got many things for my birthday todae...hmmm...got the glass bear,my favourite music box,e piggy pic pillow,e keychain,an mp3,a teddy radio,a small little bag and a little amount of money..haha...so happy.....ok....i gtg.....

***i am happy jux looking at the things u all gave me..cause i felt like u are all beside me...heh...so when i'm afraid i can hug tat pillow,listen to e music in e music box and look at e glass bear...heh.....but i'm oso so shock to receive e news tat someone had once again die ...it feels so sudden and shock for me........its so sad to noe this.....***

30/08/07,thursday

2007-08-30T20:23:00.000+08:00

-Wednesday...
Haha....went to breasty's house todae....we went to do cookiee...(hmmm..or more like biscuit...)haiz..not sure..heh...but really veri fun lor....at first we bake then a few pieces chao tah...haha...but we ate it...and it tastes veri nice...cause is made by plt 3 ma..haha......then after tat we play and we cooked noodles to eat...dunno who go put so much water..heh...think is breasty ba...heh....then oso ate tibits...and all the remaining cookies..heh...then we oso took many photos...cause i scared i dun have any memory of my happy moments...so i've decided to take many pics with my friends...ha...^3^....then after we bake finish,its about going to 10.30 ler....then veri late ler so meiting they all take my daddy de car to mrt station ...heh...then bath ler then sleep ler....

-thursday..todae...
Haha....todae change place for e first day...then see chrinana like boring like siao...cause she sit beside a mutouren(matthew)haha.....so funny...but then shu fang change place with ah bin so shu fang now sit with me..heh...then we sit together like we become siao ler...cause we kept laughing.....heh..then tml is my big big day...heh...and i'm so excited for it!!!!!and oso tml is teacher's day celebrations...there will be performances...heh..so happy...and todae oso gerraldine's birthday.....mux wish her a big big happy birthday!!!!!!!heh...then todae oso take back our result slips.....i got a bad bad result....haiz..who ask me to play com and watch show everyday de....see lar...sin yi stupid...haiz...heh...i think i crazy lers.....heck care me....i siao ler..cause sit with shu fang....haha..if she sees this,she surely angry..heh....then oso stayed back to do hmwork....stay till 5 smthing then 6 smthing reach home..and now playig com..heh........ok..i think i shall stop here......^3^
REALLY EXCITED FOR TML!!!!!HEH....

***u really take our friendship so seriously?i'm actually suspecting....but its ture tat i lost all my trust towards u...after knowing u,wat i 've got is nothing else but injuries....but i oso admit tat i had a really happy time with u sometimes....so stop pretending..i felt really so tired now.....i dun wanna care even the slightest thing now...***

25/08/07,saturday

2007-08-26T00:18:00.000+08:00

we so happy....at marina south..

christ.ah lee and ping....

ping and me

25/08/07,saturday

2007-08-25T23:53:00.000+08:00

Hmmm....guess i got a long time neva come update my entry lers....erm..let me talk bout todae.....haa.....went for UG self defence course todae,.....actually is fun in e first part but i think after tat veri boring is tat there's really too much ppl lers.....100 over ppl..and there's onli bout 15 instructors...haiz.....so didn really get a chance to play...heh.....
Then after tat is bout 12 smthing lers....then they say dismiss so we run back to SJAB room then fall in and do our punishments then went for platoon 3 meeting....then talk bout all sorts of thing...haa...then veri tiring....then after tat went to find miss chan at 2nd floor staff room to talk to her....then quite funny...heh...i mean our conversation.....haa....
Then after tat went home at bout 2 pm....i rushed back home to get change and immediately rush out again to meet them.....heh.....actually intended to play badminton de...but end up went ''hiking''...heh...went to the club at first then followed by went to causeway then hunt our way to e stadium then after reach ler then realise tat all courts were occupied by the ppl...so we walk our way restlessly to e woodlands club again...heh...then follow haruki walk bout 240 degree then reach our destiny sia..haha...then reach ler oso occupy by ppl...so went to causeway..haha..all these counted as hiking right?heh..can go appeal for a hiking badge lers...heh..then we go walk here walk there then finally mayoku say she wanna go home lers..then we leave e place lor...actually todae is quite a fun day..heh...and i will try not to be late next time..heh....i will try my best de..:)....

**wanted a life with no regrets....and it will be guaranteed with u all around me....but especially the two of u....cause i take our friendship really seriously....:)....and i'm really surprise with myself for not getting angry or agitated with ur betrayer and the wounds u tried to give me...**

18/08/2007,saturday....

2007-08-18T21:58:00.000+08:00

Haha..its really a tiring and fun day todae...heh..went out with him and her...my two best friends.....heh.....its really so so much relaxing going out with them sia....can feel like i'm breathing now....like a new beginning..haa....
Todae morning i go attend the SJAB thing...the AGI thing lah...haa...its tiring but fun cause platoon 3 got a long long time neva train lers....then we oso ganna praise by the sirs and madams...hah...felt really happy....!!!!!and somemore..YTSS de SJAB all in group D....heh..and oso dunno 4 or 5 more boys from SJI...heh.....after e training,its onli eleven smthing....then we drag here drag there till twelve smthing then go out of school...heh..then went home to bath and waited till e time to reach..then go to causeway to meet them,.....when we two waited for him,we walked around and oso went to eat the tarts....she ate white egg tart and tuna and potato one..then i not greedy..hehh...i onli ate one tuna and potato de...heh..then when we were waiting,we thought of giving our ''gang'' a name....heh..but can't think of anything cause at tat time,my mind is in a blank....heh...maybe is bacause i too tired lers..then finally till four smthing then he reach..ha....then we go LJS...they go buy things to eat then i waited there...tehn funny thing is tat they two not enough money then faster come back take money then he go bang here bang there....so funny sia...like blur blur de...heh.....so so funny....laugh till stomach pain....then went to library do hmwork....then we kept talking and playing then like do nothing in the end sia...waste a lot of time..haha.....but oso mux work more hard...heh...then do sian lers,they say wanna go timezone then smthing happen.....heh......but she ask us not to say..so i will not go specify...haha.....then after tat went to northpoint de timezone then followed by funland..heh..its my first time to go to e funland sia....heh....watch them play then i felt so bless...cause they were playing so happily beside me..haha......then after tat eight smthing lers..then we went seperate ways and take bus go home..heh....but when reach home,got two stupid cats kept following me..then i have to go another one big big round to go home sia...stupid cats,......

I HATE CATS FOREVA AND EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!

Heh....dun sayi bad ...cause i really dun like and really scared of cats..ha..and i'm recalling now....because of tat stupid cat in sec 3 camp,i cried sia..haiz...dun say ler lars...heh..i should end here.....^3^

**i'm jux happy enough with u two around..its the greatest consolence i've ever got....and u all no need to ask anything or do anything for me...i jux wanna maintain like this foreva....^3^....love u all.....heh.....**

2007-08-12T22:37:00.000+08:00

Haa!!!todae is oso a fun fun day for me sia....heh...this few days so fun sia...go out with sec sch friends and pri sch friends...haa....todae we went to tampines watch movie...we go watch ''bu neng shuo de mi mi''....wah!!!so sad sia...i mean at the ending....no one trust the gal...they thought she got mental illness...her mother oso dun believe....hump!!!wat sia....then she cry and cry....haiz...sad....:(.....i cried sia....(nai ping oso)...heh,....then after tat we went to toilet..then outside toilet we all exchange our birthday gifts....christ gave me a ''so called'' recording teddy..can listen to radio and MP3 de...haa..then hui lee gave me a small MP3....gd sia..although can onli store 28 or 29 songs but i'm already so happy..like siao..heh..cause i from last time start dreaming tat i will have it one day....heh...then ping oso gave me a small bag..heh....nice!!...heh....so happy!!!cause got so many gifts...heh..
Then todae oso play like siao....ping and me so enthu sia...we joke and laugh until ah lee and christ dun wan bother us..heh...then i oso feel a little ps after tat..haha...later i noe if they se ler,they will say..''u deserve it!!!''....haha.....then afetr tat we went to marina bay to have our sumptuous dinner!!heh...we ate so many things sia..then hui lee is the one serving us the most..heh.....but we oso got show our gratitude by putting all the mushrooms,hotdogs and many other thing into her plate..haha....after our steamboat,we walk with our ice-cream stick to go hail a taxi cause christ say she wanna go home earlier....then she treat us for the taxi fare....ha...so generous...^3^.....after tat reach home bath,online then gonna orh orh liao(copy chrinana)...heh...really had a fun day todae...heh...^3^

**daisuke!!!!!i love all my friends foreva....if one day,there mux be someone tat need to sacrifice to save u all,i shall be the one...and i would be the first to volunteer...heh..cause protecting my friends are my greastest and most important de job!!!!heh...take care,my beloved friends....heh..love u all foreva!!!!the lonely girl will not be lonely anymore cause her friends are all approaching her small cottage in the deepest of my heart...to accompany her till foreva and eternity!!!!**

11 august 2007,saturday

2007-08-11T23:20:00.000+08:00

Todae went to causeway again..haha....ppl mux think i siao...even i think so..haha.....but todae is go with a lot of ppl lar..heh...so fun..but i onli quiet for a few moments then they all say i emo liao...then still insult me say me always veri noisy but suddenly so quiet then they cannot take it...not xi guan...haha...so funny sia..hump...but its oso kinda insulting right?heh....but love to go out with my friends..i love u all!!!!!!its so fun....with u all around joking and talking or even shouting around me,it feels so warm.... jux listening to all ur jokes make me feel enough and i think i'm not so greedy cause i onli wish for friends to stay beside me....and nothing else.....
Heh...all my friends....gulei,charleen,zan hao,geok theng,jia hao,ah bin,ah bi,jia en,melvin,shufang,wen wei,li qi,chrinana and lots lots more...heh...thanks for being beside me all e time.....we mux cherish all e time together..k?cause i wanna leave lots and lots of good memories for myself and for u all in our seecondary sch life..heh....and we mux oso take lots and lots of photos...then i can keep all e memories in my precious photo album...heh....and gu lei ar....mux take photos with us ok?cause if u dun take then dun have memory of u in my precious photo album lers..heh.....promise?..haa.....
We oso went to pizza hut and try out e new pizza....veri nice sia...heh.....then i go add cheese in almost watever i eat..heh..no matter my coke ,my pizza or my watever,i oso add...funny sia..but veri nice..then at first,wen wei,luann,ah bin,gulei,chrinana and shu fang keep saying me...say me disgusting and watever..but after tat ah bin and gu lei start to follow me then after tat followed by shu fang..haha..so funny..they say me they oso do it ma...hahaha.....after tat we went to causeway and northpoint de arcade...heh..they play like crazy like this....then i sit there reading my book....cause i veri guai...heh.....kiddin lar....then after tat buy smthing then go home lers...heh..its such a fun day sia.....^3^...

**love u all foreva..no matter wat happens....u all are all my precious friends.....take more photo with me and cherish all our time ba..cause i'm really scared tat all these fun time past so fast.....how i wish tat the time would stop at the moments when we are all together.....**

10 august 2007,friday

2007-08-10T21:26:00.000+08:00

Hihi....heh...come here write blog lers....yea!!!!tml and sunday oso going out...ha..feel so excited sia...sat going out with sec sch friends..then sunday going out with primary sch friends...heh..so long neva see them ler..miss them..!!!!heh...

Todae oso go out with granny number 2...heh,.....todae oso so fun sia.....DAISUKI!!!!!love to go out with her...heh.....^3^....we went to library then went for shopping in causeway........''AGAIN!!!!''......she kept saying this..cause we kept going causeway this few days...haha.....so funny......we went to see the cookery books in popular...wah...really look so nice and yummy lors....she say she wanna buy...i oso....while i'm writing,i can recall....''muffins...chocolate...indian food(yucks)....cakes.....and more and more....''.....its look really delicious lor...heh....we thought of eating the whole book....heh.....then i scared ppl thought we crazy....heh..so i kept looking around...(imagine if later ppl go call the mental hospital de person in charge then send us in)..haha..such a good imagination sia....me so clever...**kiddin**...heh......
ya...and i got a new hairstyle..and finally got frinch lers...heh....but may be a little strange to u all lars....cause is my first time to have frinch..heh.......and ya....we go course storage then saw so many bread sia......then i bought a so called pizza de bread lars...so nice ...but $2...and quite big..i ended up eating half of it...cause veri big and i'm on diet so cannot eat too much..haha....^3^......feel so happy this few days...there's a lot of things happening this few days which made me so happy...haha......maybe is becoz sch holidays...heh.......yea yea!!!heh..i siao ler...so dun bother me...too high todae ler..too enthu...heh....^3^..ok!gtg...bb!!!!!heh....$_$....

**happy moments past so fast..wish to escape foreva and pretend nothing had happen before.....deep in my heart,there's a lonely girl..staying alone..foreva....she's living with fear eveyday and darkness tried to surround her but can't cause her determination always trys to overcome the darkness....**

8 august 2007,wednesday

2007-08-08T22:51:00.000+08:00

Haha...so happy todae!!!!!todae is NDP celebration....i reach sch at bout 6.20 ba..(hmmm..think so...)..heh...early horxx..heh...cause the GOH mux fall in at 6.30 so we oso have to follow lor...haiz...at first a bit sian leh...but after tat not sian lers...heh......

Parade start at bout 7.45am....before tat we got train a little...so scared tat i will cork up again sia..but lucky..i didn..haha..this is oso the first parade i didn cork up de.....ha...lucky me....after parade then we go watch performances....so enthu sia...me and qi stand in front at the canteen there watch...cause got NCC PDS...haha..then we cheer like siao and clap like crazy..haha...i like the NCC sec 3 performance the most..cause i thought tat their hand pattern is so uniqe lor..heh.....love PDS..heh..look really cool lor...wish to learn it if i have the chance.....heh....after all the performances,we are told to clean up the place then

after tat go for SJAB photo taking...heh...me still stand at e table de...but no platoon 3 de around me sia...feel so lonely..haha....

After the long long photo taking,me and ''ah mah(number 2)'' went back to my house to go arrange my swimming de things..then we went for swimming in SAFRA....heh...so so so so so so so so so fun sia....we joke a lot....then when we swim halfway,she ask me not to trun back..then i ask why..then she say cause ah bin and chrinana behind us...then i shock...then we go swim to another side to hide away from them..heh...so funny....but after tat we go bath and go back to northpoint with them...heh....we part at northpoint...then we went to go take the ''rt'' to go there....but end up didn make it done...haiz.....heh.....but tml i going there myself...(sobs....lonely)...heh....but mux oso learn to be more independant ma....cannot depend on friends so much ma....heh....

On e way back to causeway,i really sleep like a log..heh.....cause really so so so so so so so tired ma..heh.....then we went to causeway...we actually intended to go to watch movie de..but end up oso didn manage to watch it..haha...we go to timezone after tat ...sit there on e motorbike and look around restlessly..heh....bored ler then we went for a walk round causeway...after walk bout seven smthing ler then went to eat ice cream at mac..then decided to go home ler......reach home bout eight smthing ler lor...so tired lor...but fun indeed..heh....^_^....

***let's stay friends foreva.....until eternity ...heh...love ya and all my friends...heh......can't live without all of u...^3^***

2007-08-05T13:56:00.000+08:00

eric,me,zan hao and jia hao...!!!

chrinana and me!!!

'' two haos!!!''

one of the group in sec 3 camp...

sec 3 camp photo with ms chiang...

*''LONELY''*gaL*

02/06/09,tuesday

20/03/09,friday

07/03/09,saturday

29/02/09,saturday

21/02/09,saturday

15/02/09,sunday

15/02/09,sunday

31/01/09,saturday

23/01/09,friday

09/01/09,friday

3/01/2009,saturday

29/12/08,monday

26/12/08,friday

23/12/08,wednesday

22/12/08,monday

20/12/08,saturday

18/12/08,thursday

17/12/08,wednesday

17/12/08,wednesday

15/12/08,monday

14/12/08,sunday

14/12/08,sunday

9th december 2008,tuesday

7th december 2008,sunday

6th december 2008,saturday

16/10/08,thursaday

13/10/08,monday

12/10/08,sunday

10/10/08,friday

4 october 2008,saturday

27/09/08,saturday

18 sept 2008,friday

thursday,11 september 2008

6 september 2008,saturday

30/08/08,saturday

28/08/08,thursday

24/08/08,sunday

24/08/08,sunday

23/08/08,saturday

15/08/08,friday

12/08/08,tuesday

08/08/08,friday

06/08/08,wednesday

1st august 2008,friday

19/07/08,saturday

18/07/08,friday

14/07/08,monday

11 july 2008,friday

10 july 2008,thursday

06/07/08,sunday

13/06/08,friday

29/05/08,thursday

16,17/05/08--friday and saturday

10/05/08,saturday

7 may 2008,wednesday

11/04/08,friday

29/03/08,saturday

28/03/08,friday

17/03/08,monday

sunday,16/03/08

11/03/08,tuesday

08/03/08,saturday

friday,29/02/08

friday,22 feb 2008

worried

time flies..

on e way to zhuhai..

friday,05/10/2007

04/10/2007,thursday

25/09/2007,tuesday

18/09/2007,tuesday.....

07/09/07,friday..

6 september 2007,thursday..

03/09/07,monday

31 august 2007,friday..

30/08/07,thursday

25/08/07,saturday

25/08/07,saturday

18/08/2007,saturday....

''LONELY''gaL*